Sunday night.
This night has sort of a paradoxical connotation tied to it for me.
It goes back to my not-so-awesome childhood.
Let me explain.
I was, like many of you, a child of divorce.
I lived with my mother, saw my father on weekends (when he remembered he had a daughter waiting for him to pick her up) and dealt with all of the guilt, sadness, and overall wistfulness of being the kid caught between parents that hated each other.
It was, as I mentioned, not really awesome.
And Sundays were the worst because that was the day that my father would drop me back off at home, and I knew it could be the last time I ever saw him. I would make my way into the house where my mother would be waiting, and if I looked even the least bit sad, she would launch into attack mode:
“Oh what’s the matter—had so much fun with your dad that coming home to your boring old mother is too depressing? Well sorry I have to work two jobs to support us since that fun-loving s.o.b. doesn’t bother to pay child support….”
And on it would go until her energy was spent and I was completely demoralized. My saving grace was, ironically, the fact that my father didn’t see me every weekend, so the times when I was forgotten actually saved part of my soul. There's a metaphor there, somewhere, I'm sure, lol.
So, this childhood memory, glum though it may be, completely shaped the person I am today. For better or worse.
What did I learn? Well, for one, I learned that being yourself and feeling what you feel has consequences.
It seems like a crazy lesson, right? But it is one that I draw on to this day. I spent so much time trying to hide who I was and how I felt as a kid, that I eventually lost sight of who that actually was. When I was little, the price seemed way too high, what with listening to my mother rant and rave and tell me how ungrateful I was, so I really felt that masking my true emotions was worth it. And into my teen years, I sort of just grew accustomed to doing that. It wasn’t until I was living on my own that the impact of that mindset became clear to me: Nobody knew me. Oh sure, people knew who I was-my name was out there. But nobody actually KNEW me. And it was really scary, and really lonely.
I wish I could say that once I had this epiphany, my life magically transformed and I became a mature, well-adjusted, productive member of society. But, since I would never lie to you guys, I can’t say that because that’s not what happened. It took time. A lot of time, with a lot of very painful repercussions resulting from my journey of enlightenment. But, now, here I am. A bit worse for the wear, but soul utterly intact and identity firmly entrenched in each decision I make. Was it worth it? Yes. About this, I am unequivocal.
So, now it’s your turn. Of course...it need not be as "dark" because things that are light are often even more valuable. Just give this one some thought.
What childhood memory thus far has shaped who you are? Do you want this memory to be the blueprint for which you design your “true Self?”
If the answer is no, think about how you can change your perspective on it. What can you learn?
If the answer is yes, talk about how you can impact the world and those in it who are most important to you.
What lesson would you want to impart that has its root in this memory?
I know this is hard; take your time. Nothing worth having is ever easy. And this answer is worth having.
Trust me.
I would consider my situation an experience or time in my life. Although things have gotten better, the family situation in my house was not really the best. It was at its all time low in middle school. I rather not go into depth but I will explain how it has effected me greatly. Due to how it effected me, i rather it not have shaped me to be who I am and I do not think it designed me to be my "True self", it made matters worse. Because of my experience, my trust is at an all time low, love is fake, I hide EVERYTHING i am feeling, and people are not who they portray themselves to be. Now thats bold but its how i see life. I have very very VERY few people I trust my life details with, which I don't think is too bad of an idea. What I do have a problem with is investigating the vibes I get from someone. My first instinct is that everyone is not good for me and is probably not who they say they are or do not feel what they say they feel. I push people away, keep my feelings to myself, and hold in a lot of things. I didn't realize this until recently when my grandfather passed away. I was with Linda when it had happened and to expose myself a little, I acted as though I was fine when I was around my family and with Linda. But, in reality after I was alone I cried, a lot. I know lots of people do this but I do it to the point that even the tiniest thing, like something someone said or did, I cannot express it because I feel like the other person just won't except it, will scream at me, or will lie to me about the whole thing and make me feel crazy. And as I rant on typing this, I do feel a tad crazy lol. But thats how much it really has effected me. Because of these crazy things I feel now, I think I can turn this perspective around by giving myself a reality check. I know not everyone is some crazy monster and I just need to stop overthinking and being afraid. With this I want to make sure anyone going through the same thing always feels comfortable talking to me about their problems and is able to be open to me and know that I am trustworthy. No, i don't want to be all up in everyones business, but I know what it is like to feel like you cannot open up and not having anyone to trust to open up to. And the lesson I want to impart is that things that you experience or have gone through may shape your mind into something so negative, but theres a whole life beyond and outside of that experience. I have trouble taking part in that lesson but I do know its there.
ReplyDeleteI think that the childhood memory that shaped me the most was finding out my mom was pregnant with twins. I had wished for a little sister since I knew what one was. I hated being the youngest, and the age gap between my brother and I made it hard for us to be on the same page. We're 11 years apart, so I got to witness his rebellious teen years, which were not a joke. He was in and out of trouble, hanging around the wrong people and never there for me. I cherished the little bit of time I did have with my brother because I knew in an instant his girlfriend of the week or his friends would take him away from me. It was frustrating, my grandmother was my bestfriend since I spent majority of my childhood at her house. I guess you could say it was my escape, I didn't have to deal with my parents and brother arguing, I didn't feel alone or like I wasn't getting the attention because it all went to him, in a negative way. I was 8 when my mom got pregnant. I remember being picked up from school by my grandmom because my mom had a doctors appointment and my dad had to go with her. I played on my playground, had a PB&J for lunch and my parents came to get me around 6. My mom gave me the ultrasound pictures and I had no idea what I was looking at. I was told I was going to be a big sister and I don't think I have ever matched that level of excitement. I was terrified, excited, nervous and all in all overwhelmed. I had wished for this forever, but I felt like I wasn't ready. 8 years and 11 years isn't that much of a difference, but I was determined to make the relationship with these twins different than the relationship I had with my brother. I wanted to be there for them, I wanted to make memories with them, and be their role model. As I grew older, I believe I achieved that goal. And this quarantine has only made us closer. I'm basically their at home teacher, we play games and find creative ways to stay busy every day. It's obviously not always rainbows and puppies but we manage to love each other after all the arguments and fights we have over silly things. I am grateful to have such a close bond with my siblings and to have learned what I wish I could've had with my brother and give that to my siblings.
ReplyDeleteMy childhood was pretty normal. My parents were(and still are) caring, loving, and kind, always making sure that my siblings and I were okay. We would visit family every once and a while and went on vacation on the very rare occasion. We didn’t struggle financially, but we weren’t swimming in money either, we were just average. Nothing major happened when I was younger. I am pretty lucky for that, since so many bad things happen to other people, so they could have happened to me too. Growing up in this state of normalcy, I never really expected anything really bad to happen. After my brother died, I feel like I changed into a different person. Even though it has already almost been a year since the last time I saw him, it still doesn’t feel real. I don’t really know how to express how I feel about it since it still hasn’t hit me too hard. Of course I feel sad, but sometimes I almost forget that it ever happened. My emotions come in waves, but when I feel sad about it, I get realllly sad. Stress usually pushes me over the edge too. I feel like I have to put on a happy face and act like everything is fine so my parents don’t worry, but also because everyone at school acts like everything is okay and nothing ever happened. Of course losing my brother has left a negative impact on my life, but it also taught me that I need to be grateful for everything and everyone in my life. You don’t realize what you have until it is gone, and I had one of the greatest brothers, but I won’t ever be able to see him again. It taught me to appreciate life more and to try to help others if I can. This memory cannot just go away, and I want it to be a part of the blueprint to design my “true self” because if it was not, it would just remain a peace of pain for the rest of my life. I want to be able to help others who are struggling with depression or those who don’t feel comfortable talking to others about it. I want to be there for my friends when they are sad to help them get back on their feet and feel better than before. Overall, I just want to help people who are struggling and to find a way(if possible) to make their life better in any way. Give people another reason to live and to make them happy. I just want to teach others to appreciate what they have and all that they could do to help others. Like I said before, you don’t realize all that you have until it's gone. If people learn to understand how valuable everyone and everything in their life is, they may be able to make a great impact. I also want people to reach out to others who may be struggling and to help them in any way that they can. I just want to stop others from doing what my brother did because what he did caused so much pain in my family, his friends, and others in the community. He was loved so much, even though he may not have realized it. He could have done great things, but I hope that he is at peace now.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the inconsistencies throughout my childhood shaped me to be the person I am today. Forcing my mind to go back in time, no particular moment stood out to me because it all played a part in shaping me into the person I am today. All of the good, all of the bad, all of the fights and arguments, all of the lies, all of the tears, all of the pain, all of the smiles, all of the jokes, all of the adventures, all of the people. It all taught me a lesson that caused my brain to be wired the way it is. So if I had to pick something that impacted me the most, it would be all of the inconsistencies. Now when I say inconsistencies, that’s kind of broad so to be more specific... one thing that has been inconsistent throughout my life is love. As depressing as it sounds it’s true. Growing up there were times where I didn’t feel loved, even though I was, some of the actions that took place made me think otherwise. Some examples are: my father leaving, my step father wanting to be a father figure every other day, my mother not always putting her children first, family members cutting ties with me because they no longer want to deal with my mother’s toxic relationship drama. I believe that the inconsistencies of love have caused me to have serious trust issues, and left me with the thought that I am uncapable of being loved. Honestly it’s the worst feeling in the world, I feel crazy, but I can’t help but think that the people around me are lying or are only using me. Then, I feel like whenever someone trustworthy comes along, I self-sabotage the relationship. I don’t want these memories to be the blueprint for which I design my true self, I want to change and create consistency for myself. I want to create a consistency of love for myself.
ReplyDeleteMy childhood was the stereotypical perfect childhood. My parents weren't divorced, my grandparents came over every weekend and every holiday. I had all the toys in the world and got smothered in love in everyday. When I look back on my childhood, it honestly does remind me of such a carefree time where all I did all day was dress up as princess, play with barbies, get pancakes for breakfast with M&M's , dance around, and wake up super early to watch all my favorite cartoons. It honestly does seem perfect. And while I'm sure there were some bad moments, but I honestly don't remember them. Although one thing I always admire are my parents. They have been together for 20 years and I have always been one of the few who parents are still together. They are each others best friends and can get through anything. This has very much shaped the way on how I view love. While some view it as not real, you only get hurt, and have no trust and I see it totally different. I see love that is something that exists if you really want it. If you learn to work together and trust one another. That it is real and it is there and that love is beautiful. Not only did their love impact them but impacted me as well and my brother. They were always there for us both no matter what. Both of them, same team, on OUR team. I have always been thankful I have never had to be sick in the middle or getting the other one upset for going to the other one. I have always just seen them as a team. I don't mind if this is the bus print for how I design my true self because it always brought me happiness and it lets me bring hope into this cruel world. That love exists, you just have to work together to make it work.
ReplyDeleteI have so many things messed up in my brain. I cry a lot, five times in the past two weeks to be exact. I have anxiety that keeps me from doing a lot of stuff in my life. I have body image problems where I stop eating some days or spend an entire day stressing about the outfit I have one even when it’s just leggings and a hoodie. For all these problems I don’t know where they started. I had a perfect childhood. My parents let me do almost everything I wanted, my brother and I got along perfectly, and I had the most supportive family. So instead of talking about where these things started, I’m going to talk about how they have impacted me so far. My life has been stalled in the past couple years because of my anxiety. I’m scared to talk to people and when I do I am constantly afraid they hate me so I just stopped trying. I’m scared people get annoyed with me being sad a lot or constantly complaining about the way I look in my outfit even though there is nothing wrong with it. At the same time my anxiety has pushed me forward. I have done things I was scared to do just to prove to myself that I could do it. I played club volleyball, told a guy how I felt about him, and a lot of other random stuff because of it. My life is a puzzle and every so often someone comes along and doesn’t just take it apart they throw it across the room because they felt like it. I don’t want this for the rest of my life. I want to be able to live my life not in fear of failing. I want to be happy again because my life isn’t even bad right now it’s almost perfect. I have everything that I have ever wanted. A boyfriend, a good friend group, a weight I am willing to accept, and many more things. I just want my feelings to represent my life.
ReplyDeleteMy childhood has been blended together it felt a repeat must of the time. In my ted-talk I already iterated my story as a young child in school. For those who didn't hear my ted-talk the basics is I revealed a little bit of who I am and what I dealt with as a kid. How at a young age I have dealt with racism and discrimination since kindergarten. In the end it made me view people as an individual rather than by their race. It did definitely played in a major role in making me who I am. But the question requires one singular memory, while that was more of an arc. After hours of sitting in my room forcing to myself to think backwards to find a memory, I have found it. But without doubt my single most memorable moment was having my family and my extended family back in Vietnam. That time nothing could've gone wrong. After 7 long years I finally got the chance to see my family and this time remember what the heck actually happen. This time helped me morph the idea that family meant everything to me. This happiness and joy is something I never felt before in my childhood. When I was at school and I never wanted it to end. This memory does build who I am because the idea of prioritizing family to the top. I don't ever want it to be taken away from me. This has impacted my decision making and my pride of who I am is now where it belongs. My message is be proud of who you are and your're family no matter who it is will be the thing you treasure the most.
ReplyDeleteMy childhood was pretty normal, but there was always one defining moment, my parent’s divorce. I would say my parent’s divorce played a big part in growing up and definitely shaped me into the person I am today. My parents got divorced when I was in 4th grade. Although the actual divorce may have happened over a few months back then, it’s something that is continuous in my life and something I think about every day. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized the real reason behind the divorce and what really happened. Obviously, when I was 9 it was hard for me to comprehend the complexity and severity of the situation. My parents didn’t end on good terms and to this day, they still argue even though they aren’t together. I’m really close with them both, so it can be hard hearing them talk bad about each other and them expecting me to pick a side or something. I definitely question it a lot like, what if they never got a divorce? My life would truly be so different. I wouldn’t be who I am today if this had never happened, so I guess it has helped me design my true self. I became more independent and developed way closer relationships with my siblings as a result of it. Ultimately, what I learned from this was that whatever is meant to happen will happen. My mom and dad were meant to get divorced for a reason and that obstacle has only made me stronger in life. If they had never gotten divorced, I wouldn’t have my stepdad and his amazing family who I can’t picture my life without. In the end, everyone ended up much better off because of the tough choices my mom and dad had to make. Although it caused me so much pain, it made me into the person that I am today.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t necessarily have a bad childhood. My parents were still together, but I was just always alone. My mom and dad would always work and so I had to be babysat by either my brother or sister. However, they never really came out of their rooms unless they were eating, using the bathroom or went out with friends. Everyday, except Mondays and Tuesdays and if it wasn't for school, I would wake up to my parents leaving and then I'd be glued to the couch in front of the tv in the living room. If I needed something, I was basically on my own . This shaped me to who I am today, because my childhood taught me that there is nobody else, but me and only me to look after. When there’s a time I need to talk to someone about something, whether I'm mad, I'm upset, or I'm crying about something...I don’t. I keep it to myself because i’ve gotten so used to not speaking about how I feel and became very good at hiding how I feel because of how I grew up
ReplyDeleteEveryone knows my testimony about the car accident about 9 years ago. Matter of fact next month is the anniversary of the car accident. It's going to be a little hard, especially for my father because not only he lost his wife but 5 days later was going to be his anniversary. I will keep him in prayer. but at the same time its a reminder for me and my sisters that God spared our lives. He is taking his time with us so we have to give our time to him. Though the memory may be disturbing and not something any child would ask for, God turned it into something beautiful and I am glad that experience made me closer to God. I truly except this has shaped the real me, I identify myself as a Christian. Again, this is my testimony, people call this coincidence but the people I interact with always have some relation with me or I know exactly what to say. These are not coincidences these people God sends my way. One thing a lot of people including myself don't understand is God doesn't work with you directly all the time but he works through people. And I could always tell it was him because I pray God will send me someone. One lesson I learned is that I am loved and not take advantage of the power of God. Just like in this pandemic we are in right now he is still in control, he knows what he’s doing, You and I are a prime example of that.
ReplyDeleteMy childhood was honestly pretty “normal;” the biggest factor being how my parents were still together, and they still are now, which is a big privilege that I didn’t know I had. The funny thing is, my mom was divorced before meeting my dad (her ex-husband was very abusive), and my dad was divorced a whopping two times before meeting my mom (his first wife used him for his money and ability to build houses, and his second was abusive and used him, again). From my dad’s second marriage, he had two girls, and luckily they were in college when he went through his divorce with their mom; it didn’t really affect them as they already were starting lives of their own. So, as you’re probably inferring, my parents are kinda old. Currently, my mom is 56 and my dad is 70, making him 14 years older than my mom. Because of my dad’s age, he’s suffered through a variety of health issues after I was born, and that’s really what I want to talk about today. I know that I’ve written about this in another blog, but his whole ordeal, I feel, really shaped me into who I am today. When I was younger, I never really understood what exactly was going on; I just understood that my sisters and I would be spending another week or two at grandma’s. When I was two, my father almost died because of ITP, a serious blood platelet disorder. He was quarantined in the hospital for about a month until it became controlled with serious treatment, including a spleen removal. When I was three, my dad was brought to the hospital for an infectious disease found in his legs, causing him to be unable to walk. After that, he received IV treatments at least four different times in three years. When I was six years old, he went into the hospital for chest pain and stayed there for two weeks, learning that he had a heart condition and was put on blood thinning medication to lower his risk of a heart attack. When I was seven years old, he went into the hospital for not being able to breathe, with chest pain, and found out it was from a contusion from a serious car accident, years prior, when his chest hit the steering wheel. One specific time that I really remember was when I was ten. My dad was just in the living room when he started vomiting and grabbing onto his right side in extreme pain. My mom obviously panicked, and wanted to bring him to the hospital right away. My dad was always stubborn and didn’t want to go, but she eventually got him into the car, when he was still in a lot of pain. My sisters and I witnessed it all, and we were pretty scared. We had to get into the car and go to the hospital too, where our grandma eventually picked us up (like always) and took us back to her house for the next two weeks. My dad’s gallbladder ruptured, and he could’ve died if he waited any longer to go to the hospital. His organs were as hard as a rock, and they couldn’t remove his gallbladder, which led him to needing to have a choly tube connected to his bile duct to safely bypass any infectious fluids inside of his body. He had that tube for the next eight weeks after and had to empty the bag connected throughout the day. When he went back to the hospital to get the tube and gallbladder removed, the surgery was unsuccessful. Doctors suspected cancer because his organs were still as hard as a rock. My father then went to a hospital in Philadelphia with a team of expert physicians in cardiology, oncology, hematology, and gastroenterology, along with a liver specialist, to safely remove his cholly tube and gallbladder. After the surgery, the doctors told him that he was extremely lucky that they only had to remove a portion of his liver, along with his gallbladder and choly tube. My dad was also informed that he was clear of cancer. The doctors told him that he was one of the rare patients to actually survive it all.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 14 years old, my dad went to the hospital with bad stomach pain and discovered that he had pancreatitis. He was in the hospital for a week with treatment. In the same year, my dad went to Urgent Care and was then transported to the hospital when he lost his track of breathing and had pressure in his chest. Once at the hospital, he was informed that he had congestive heart failure. The doctors had to remove fluid from around my dad’s heart and he was put on an oxygen machine, which he still has to use today. The doctors informed us that they were lucky to save his life in the condition that he was in, and with that, my family and I are extremely grateful. The most recent occurrence was back when I was 15, my dad had to start going through chemotherapy for acute kidney failure; this was basically caused by his compromised immune system from having his spleen removed. He wasn’t a candidate for dialysis or a transplant, so chemo was the most that doctors could do for him. To this day, my father is still going through chemotherapy, but he’s a fighter, that’s for sure. So, as I was prospering as a child, I developed a sh*t ton of anxiety, which I feel like resulted from the constant fear and confusion surrounding my dad going to the hospital all of the time. Even when I was little little, and didn’t have a great idea of what was going on, my mom told me that I could feel her unease and anxiety, and express those uncomforting feelings in my own ways. As I got older, those feelings just increased, as I never knew when my dad would be taken back to the hospital. I never knew when he could just die right in front of me (morbid, I know), and I still get excessively anxious over that fact, especially since he’s getting older. I still have to check on him when he’s sleeping on the couch or in bed to make sure that he’s still breathing, and that is kind of terrifying. And now I’m really freaking out because of this whole Coronavirus pandemic, and how my dad is highly at risk; he’s old and has a very low immune system, making him very susceptible. He still has to go out to work because he’s a banker, which is “essential,” and he’s being exposed to all these different people. He honestly doesn’t even care, and he’s not being very serious about the whole thing, while my mom is constantly on his back about washing his hands. Anyway, my dad’s whole ordeal really shaped me into who I am: extremely anxious, always willing to help (as I want to be in the medical field), and kind of dead inside- used to just feeling numb. The main lesson from this “story” would be to never take life or your loved ones for granted, as you never know when that could be changed forever. You should remember to watch over your family because life is just unpredictable. It flies by and you never know what might happen next; you never know who or when someone will take their last breath.
DeleteI didn't really have a bad childhood I would say. I grew up with an older sister, my parents were together, and nothing bad really happened. So, I would have to say that my childhood memory that I will never forget about is, my little brother being born. Matthew was a huge surpise to everyone in my family, including my parents lol. My mom was 45 which is kind of on the older side of having a kid, and he is about 10 years apart from my oldest sister and about 7 years apart from me which is a big gap. We all thought Matt was going to be a girl which my dad wasn't that happy about, but my sister and I were defintely happy about it. We were going to name him Madison, until a boy came out. This had a huge impact on me because I honestly was mad when I found out because I was used to getting all the attention since I was the youngest. I didn't want another sibling, and if I was going to, I wanted it to be a girl. So you can only imgaine my 6 year old self so mad in the hospital when I found out it was a boy. Until, I really got to know Matthew. He wasn't that bad after all. After I held him enough, took care of him, fed him, had him throw up on me, and so much more. Matthew was the best thing that happened to me. He makes the house so much more chaos, but in a good way.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a single parent household with a sister who utterly refused to help. I was always by myself, and I was always doing stuff for my mom. That's why I feel I've grown to be so independent and why I'm doing a-okay in quarantine. That's super important as well. I've noticed that a lot of my peers don't have this trait. I'm asked for help all the time, and there isn't anything wrong with that, its just they do it before they even make the effort. It could be something super easy too, like finding a website. Even now I make my own appointments and am forced to do almost everything by myself. I know if everyone could have this trait, their lives would be a lot easier, making MY life a lot easier too.
ReplyDeleteSince is was 8 years old, I had been overweight to point of being obese sometimes. I used to get picked on for it a lot ( had a distinct bully every year from 2nd to 4th ) and up to about freshman year I didn’t take action against my weight issue. Being overweight sucked because you were never comfortable in your own skin and finding things to wear that fit were really difficult. One distinct experience that I remember was during a normal day in elementary school where I had serious issues breathing. I was short of breath and it wouldn’t go away ( this had happened before but not as serious. I also would occasionally have weird chest pains that stung for a few seconds ) so I went to the nurse and my Dad has to take me home. We almost decided to go to the hospital, but It went away in about an hour and I was feeling normal again. I bring this up because it was a really scary experience that accurately represented my struggle with my weight and the consequences of overeating. As a blueprint, the experience gave me insight on the visible negatives of weight gain and allowed me to eventually shed over 80 pounds in 7 months. This memory definitely me a better person and the lesson I learned from it was to never overindulge on anything to point of it being toxic.
ReplyDeleteThe moment that has shaped my life was my dad’s suicide. It’s been a decade full of grief, and where I entered the dark abyss of my life. What I thought was a typical day of first grade turned out to be a pivotal moment in my life. I’m not going to talk about the negative effects of this, because I've mentioned them many times before in my previous blogs, as well as personal narratives throughout the past ten years. My dad’s death had a positive impact on my life, and honestly gave my life more of a purpose. After this occurred, I’ve been dedicating a lot of my free time (even sacrificing school time) to work with various non-profit organizations and charities. I’ve been so grateful to have these organizations help my family when we needed it the most. I’ve been a volunteer with the Atlantic County Toys for Kids program since 2010--the year my dad passed away--and we provide gifts and financial aid to families around the holiday season. The art of giving back is so important to me because I was once in a low place as well, and it’s not that easy to recover from. My mom also the head of a suicide prevention non-profit organization called SPARK (Suicide Prevention Awareness Resources for Kids). After my dad’s death, it inspired us to end the stigma and encourage others to do so as well. We provide numerous resources for kids, and adults if needed, with a number to call for advice and someone to talk to if they are having any negative thoughts. Many people view suicide as an ongoing joke and continue to abuse the words “i’m going to kill myself,” or many other phrases similar to that. Many of my friends will comment or joke around about mental health and it leaves me waiting for the punchline. Laughing about sensitive topics such as depression and suicide only increases the stigma, and discourages others to speak up about their feelings. I advise everyone to talk to someone about how they’re feeling--especially during this time of the pandemic--and if you need anyone to talk to, I’m open ears!!!
ReplyDeleteI don’t think I could pin down the way I’ve been shaped to one memory. Life should never be defined by one moment or memory, but the tragic thing is that it often turns out that way. If I had to pick one memory that changed me the most it would probably be the time I was almost hit by a car. I was on vacation in Virginia and the house we rented had bikes for us to use in the garage. It was in the summer of 2016, so put two and two together and realize of course my sister and I were going to use them to play Pokemon GO. It was probably like 9:30 or 10 at night so we were on our way back to the house when there was a parked car on my path going forward, so I looked to cross the street. I saw a car driving by so I let it pass and started to cross. What I didn’t see was the car right behind it. I barely made it across the street in time before getting pancaked and I’ll never forget my sister screaming my name in panic so loud that I could hear it over the car’s horn. The car drove on. I sat down on the side of the road for like ten minutes thinking about the fact that my life could’ve just ended. This definitely causes a shift in perspective. It taught me the lesson of appreciating life and cherishing the time you have because it’s hard to realize it until it’s almost gone. I don’t think this is the blueprint for my “true self,” I just think it taught me an important philosophy that my true self has. My true self is a compilation of all the important memories, triumphs or failures, that taught me the lessons I live by.
ReplyDeleteA childhood memory which made me who I am today is my cousin almost passing from having a seizure that turned into a stroke in his brain. It was a really sad and scary situation that my mom was there for the whole time. My mom dropped everything to be with her sister at the Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia for about 3 weeks. She didn’t work and was only really home at night. Her sister would stay the nights with her son and my mom would spend the day because my uncle had to work and my aunt had to go home and shower, change, and whatnot. My aunt also has a daughter so we would watch her a lot. It taught me that life is too short to have regrets, grudges, etc. Every second that you’re upset is a second of happiness you will never get back. Almost losing my cousin really taught me to always show kindness and never take anything for granted. Everyone gets upset for relationships, school work and just frustration, it happens. My anxiety always gets the best of me but I calm down and realize that the minutes I am upset, I will never get back to make them happy and joyful. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason along with if it's meant to be it will. There is always a path, you just have to take it yourself. That accident I think coils have shaped me into who I am today.
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