Often, when I'm feeling alone, I like to keep moving. Specifically, I like to go for walks.
Wait, hold on. I missed a step.
So, first I drive to a place I've either
1) never been
OR
2) always go.
It's the drive before the walk that allows me to let go of the day and absorb the night.
These walks of mine always happen at night. I feel like that's an important detail. Don't ask me why.
So this is the state of affairs that brought me to Center City Philly the first Friday night in October.
As I roamed Old City, a place I once lived, I found myself replaying some of the interactions with various people I'd had up to that point in the day. When my mind settled on one of the day's conversations--I don't remember which--I distinctly recall feeling a rising tide of frustration.
And while I'm sketchy on the details of the conversation which sparked these thoughts, I know precisely what frustrated me that evening, because it's something that consistently frustrates me to no end: the realization that most people seem to have no handle on what it means to be "a good friend." Not that I feel that I have a monopoly on the definition. It's just that I feel that people throw the term "best friend" around like it's a hacky sack, with little to no thought about how their use of the term speaks volumes about what they value in terms of human interaction.
So, you guessed it. I'd like you to weigh in on the subject. What does it mean to be "a good friend"?
Who's your best friend? Has that changed?
Do you often change "best friends" or is it a pretty steady position in your world?
Be specific, cite examples and do your best to arrive at a definition. But DON'T consult a dictionary. If you absolutely can't resist the temptation to chew on someone else's thoughts on the subject, I'd like you to google quotations on friendship and tell me if you come across one that sums up your views on the topic--or one that doesn't if playing devil's advocate is your thing.
Share the quote with us and connect it with your response. Don't rush your thinking. Let it grab hold of you and see where it goes.
A good friend to me is someone who would always there for you no matter what. Someone who supports your decisions, but also tells you wrong from right. Someone who won't talk behind your back, or make you feel alone at any time. You should be able to tell your best friend anything without thinking they'll go off and run miles with your secret. A best friend should be honest, trustworthy, loyal, caring, etc. Those are just my main characteristics. Oh but of course, you need to know how to joke around. I love laughing and making jokes, and I especially love when I have someone to be able to laugh and joke around with. My best friend has been my sister for awhile now. People may think I'm corny for saying that, but whatever. Of course, I have close friends and all that, but my sister and I have been through a lot and I feel like she deserves that title. Her being my best friend does change once in awhile, to be honest. If I'm mad at her, then I say she's just my sister. But she always bounces back to the "best friend." I used to change best friends a lot, it was mostly whoever was my closest friend I had at that moment. Maybe one day I'll have a best friend that isn't my sister, but I just have many close friends and then my sister, and I'm fine with that. She fits the definition of "best friend"
ReplyDeleteA good friend is someone that always supports you no matter what. It could be something that is bad in your life and you need a shoulder to cry on or one of the greatest things just happened and they are there to happy cry with you. A good friend should be someone who puts in the same amount of effort as you. If you are putting 100% into that friendship and you are only getting 50% then you don't need someone like that in your life. The most important thing about a good friend is that they don't judge you for any decision that you make. If you make a bad decision or do something that they don't approve of, you should still be able to tell them about it without having to worry that they will make fun of you for it. My best friend is probably my friend Lauren. We have been friends since we were like five years old and I truly can't imagine my life without her. We can go a long time without hanging out or really talking but I know that when I see her again it will be like we saw each other yesterday. She is the sweetest soul and I know I can trust her with my life. We kind of drifted apart when we were in middle school but we managed to get close again and I am so happy that we did. She has definitely lost of title of best friend at one point but it wasn't because of a falling out of any sort, we just lost touch. I had one girl that I was best friends with for like three years and she knew my entire life story but she tried to take over my life and I didn't like that so I slowly pushed her out of my life. We ended up going to different high schools and we haven't talked since we graduated middle school. Besides that girl, Lauren has consistently been the person that got the title of best friend. I have had a lot of close friends but best friend to me stays consistent. I know she will constantly be by my side. We have so many shared memories and I know one day we will be at each other's weddings telling the story of how we used to play time travel on the soccer field playground when we were six years old. I don't know anyone else that I would want as my best friend and I can't wait to see where we go together.
ReplyDeleteTo me, being a good friend has many characteristics. One would be not being selfish. Not being selfish meaning you don't always talk about yourself, show yourself off, or just not showing any interest in wanting to know what happens in my life. Another would be effort. I don't want to constantly be the one making plans and inviting them places with me if the aren't doing the same. There are many more characteristics, but one last one would be someone who supports my decisions. I feel like I am an understanding person so if they give me reasons to not support my decision and it is good reasons, I feel as if they are doing it just to tell me right from wrong which is great of someone to do, but if they don't support me just because with no reasons why, that isn't good. My best friend is either my mom or dad. My mom and dad are very understanding and easy to talk to about things. They don't judge me and I know what say to them they won't tell anyone. It is hard having friends now because many people re untrustworthy and if you tell them something they tell other people or talk about you to other people. I know my parents wouldn't spill my life to their friends; they are very trustworthy. My best friend has never changed, it has always been my parents. I don't often change my best friend because I live with them and I am always with them. My parents are still young so they know the new trends and slang so I feel like I am sometimes talking to a friend from school. I think that everyone should at least have one best friend that they can tell everything to. Some people think they need so many best friends but in reality, all those people aren't their best friends because they don't even realize that their " best friends " are treating them unfairly. Rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
ReplyDeleteEveryone wonders what it really takes to be a “good friend,” and they all assume that they’re one of them. Well more than half of them are wrong, and just try to cover it up with Snapchat and Instagram posts. They call everyone their best friend, and act like they would all die for each other, which is definitely false. And when it comes down to it, they would leave each other in a heartbeat. Well, that’s high school folks. How close you are with someone depends on how high your snap streak is, and friendships seem to be built upon what brands you wear. To be a good friend, you should stick by someone’s side, no matter what. You don’t judge them, and love them unconditionally, and would do almost anything for them. You’re with them through thick and thin, and not talking to them for even a couple of hours feels wrong. You wouldn’t let a fight tear you apart, and you’d strive to make things right. A best friend is just a step above all of that. They’re someone who most likely was a good friend first, who grew into the person that you care the most about; someone that you’ve known for a l o n g time. Your best friend shouldn’t change every week, and you shouldn’t go around calling everyone you come in contact with your best friend. You’d probably consider your bestie to be your own blood, and luckily for me, mine is (well ONE of mine). My best friend is my twin sister, and we’ve literally been through everything together, ever since the womb. We’ve been through every birthday, every fight, every relationship, every first day of school, every holiday, every vacation… together. Now that’s a true best friend, and I know for a fact that that will never change. I once heard a quote on Disney channel say, “Sisters by chance, best friends by choice;” and that is extremely accurate. I know that I’ll have her forever, and I am incredibly grateful for that. My other best friend would be my boyfriend, who I’ve known since fifth grade. I love my sister, but it’s good to get away from her every once in a while. I’ve talked about this in a previous blog, so I won’t go too deep, but I know that he’s the one. We’ve been best friends since we’ve been eleven, and it’s gonna stay that way till we reach Heaven.
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ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, to be a good friend is to be there for that friend at any given time. They will check up on you, help you in any situation, be your biggest supporter, and pick you up when you're feeling down. Most importantly I think a good friend is a loyal friend, someone who won't go behind your back and talk badly about you but will defend you, and they keep your secretes to themselves. Overall, a good friend is a supportive and loyal person willing to do anything for you and be there for you through thick and thin. I used to have best friends but going further into high school I just have a couple friends I stay in contact with. I can't really pick a best friend but I definitely do have a great support system behind my back. From high school I have learned a lot about those I wanna steer clear from and those I see myself being friends with. I try to stay open to being friends with anyone and making new friendships anywhere I go.
ReplyDeleteTo me, a good friend is someone who always has your back no matter what, supports you,but can also tell you the truth and give their honest opinion. Their not selfish and you know you can trust them no matter what and whatever you tell you know they won't go and tell anyone else. A good friend doesn't judge you. I know a lot of people don't believe in having more then one best friend and you could only ever have one best friend, but that statement is not true. I have the best 3 best friends in the world and I wouldn't want it anyway. Along with my 3 best friends I also do consider my mom, dad and boyfriend to be my best friend. So you might think that is a lot of people to consider my best friends but I see it as extremely lucky that I get to call these six, amazing people all my best friends. Without Paige, Maddy and Sadie, I have no idea where I would be right now. Paige was my first ever best friend. Our moms even had combined baby showers and just at 6 months old we were sharing cribs. I became close with Sadie and Maddy at the beginning of freshman year and that was a blessing. At the age of 6 my brother turned 18 and moved out so ever since then it just been me, my mom, my dad and my grandmother in the house. I tell everything to my mom, she's my go to, so is my dad. My best friends is very steady, Iv'e had the same ones for the last 2 years and I don't see that ever canning. Only when I go to college and make more friends. But I never plan on losing the ones I have now.
ReplyDeleteA good friend is somebody who is there for you no matter what, but can also respect your boundaries. Someone who is honest and constructive, and always wants the best for you. Someone who respects your opinions, and doesn't try to persuade you to go the other way. Although I do have other best friends, the best of all is definitely Madison. I trust her with everything (literally EVERYTHING), and she's always happy for me no matter what decision I decide to make. Although we have our rough spots, we always realize our wrongs and apologize. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. It's crazy how we once hated each other in seventh grade (long story short: I stole her man, she stole him back, now he's gay HAHA), but we've now grown into the best of friends. I think it's acceptable to have more than one bestie because some friendships can be equivalent to other friendships. I don't have just my one "person," I have multiple people. And those friendships have made me who I am today.
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ReplyDeleteA good friend is there for you, even when you don’t know you need them to be. They somehow manage to make you laugh when it seems to be an unimaginable task. They are the person you can say anything to and have trust that they would never tell another soul if you requested it. I would like to think I have two “best friends”. Dana and Allison, the people I tell everything to, and the only two birthdays I ever remember. Me and Dana, we've had one big blowout, we didn’t talk for a whole summer. But I suppose when your last names line up like destiny and you share all your classes, you tend to work through those obstacles. I barely recall what it was about. When you have a good friend, through all obstacles no matter what, you have the ability to pick up right where you left off. It takes time to create that, can't just jump around. I might have moved away, but you better bet that I didn’t go anywhere. In definition, a good friend is someone who has the ability to push yourself to be caring and loving. The best “you”, you can be.
ReplyDeleteI would say being a good friend means having someone you can count on to be there for you no matter what, someone you should be comfortable talking to whether it’s something embarrassing, serious, etc, and someone to always have your back in any situation. I have a couple of best friends that I can completely trust with literally EVERYTHING. My friend Annrei and I have been best friends since we were 8 and 9 years old and been through everything together. I can count on her no matter what. We could not talk to each other for a whole month or something and by the time we talk again, it’s like nothing has changed. I mean we’re practically sisters and I have a lady to prove it lol ( a lady at the nail salon once asked us if we were twins). No, it hasn’t changed at all. Although i have lost a lot of friends throughout high school, but I'd rather have a small group of friends than have a big group of fake friends. My friends have stayed consistent with being my best friends since our Davies school years and I am hoping it will stay like that even when we go to college and live our best lives in the future.
ReplyDeleteAfter losing some friends and finding new ones, I’ve come to the conclusion that a good friend is someone who you can rely on and someone you can trust. Not only that, but you love them, which can be in a non-romantic or romantic way. If you need something, that person is almost always there to help you. You can tell that person anything and know that they will keep it to themself unless told otherwise. Even when you get annoyed with each other, you don’t start spreading rumors about each other or talking about that person behind their back. If I am being completely honest, my mom is my best friend. Sometimes I do get annoyed with her, and vice versa, but I would much rather spend time with my mom than any of my other friends(sorry friends. It sounds kind of lame, but it’s true). My best friend used to be a girl named Ariel. We were pretty close, but I think we spent too much time together. We began to get at each other's throats and said some nasty things about each other. After losing her as a friend, I realized how much my mom is really there for me, especially when I need her. When I was younger, I also felt the need to always have a friend over so I wasn’t bored, but I still enjoyed spending time with my mom. As I grew up, I realized how much I value the time I have with my mom and I began spending more time with her. She always finds a way to help me feel better when I am upset or angry and I can tell her almost anything. Now I don’t really change best friends because no one is there for me more than my mom and there is no one I can trust more than her. Of course I have other friends, and even though they are here for me at times, I just don’t feel as if though they would be there when I truly need them. They were all there for me after my brother passed away, but none of them know how I really feel because they have never been through the same situation. They may feel bad for me, but they don’t understand what I am going through fully. When tell my mom I am feeling sad and it’s because I am thinking about my brother, she relates to me because we both experienced the same loss. We are there for each other when we are both falling apart.
ReplyDeleteThis question puts more questions in my mind, as I've had various friends over the years. Some were just school buddies,some were bus friends, some were my neighbors, and some were my family's friend's sons or daughters. They can be genuinely good people who make everyone in the room feel brighter, bad influences who can pressure you into doing things you would never do on your own, or a crossroad in between. I can put expectations for what a good friend can be, but the truth is that I don't mind who that friend is as a person, just as long as they're being themselves. I've learned from social pressuring by friends and I won't let it change what I do in life. If they decide to leave the friendship then I will not stop them from doing so. My best friend(s) have changed over the years for many reasons whether it be them moving away, a bad fight that separated us for good, or a slow disconnect from each other that happened naturally over time. Right now my best friend and friend forever is my Mom for being good to me all these years, listening to whats been on my mind, and being a better influence than my Dad and his wife have been. I'm friends with most people as long they are being themselves because the truth is that I'm just want to be a part of the vibe.
ReplyDeleteThere is no single definition for a good friend. Everyone has their own definition of a friend that not just defies the friend but also defies what a person values. Good friends are not easy to find. For many, they need to discover the ugly side of people to realize what he or she values in another person. Most people have a good friend in their life because the person will allow you to truly express yourself. Others want a good friend for moral support, to be inspired by, or to go to when in need. All these values support what I want in a person. I never had a supportive friend. I never had a friend to inspired by. I never had a friend that was there for me when I needed help. All I saw was the shit side of society at a young age. Every day of my life I have been criticized for my race, my culture, my work, and my passion. I am the well in which all hatred pours into creating an emotionless person that doesn’t desire the help of others. However, I am grateful for all my good friends because they’re the ones that have helped me out of that well, but the scars will never heal. I am grateful for all of my friends because they’re the ones that help put a smile on my face each day. I don’t have a best friend in my life. I haven’t found one person that would fit all of my values in life. Will it stay that way? I”m not sure life makes unexpected turns; so maybe it will.
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DeleteI agree with the fact people don't know what a "Good friend" really is and people just throw it around after that person does something good to them. Personally i'm guilty of it. I don't really have a best friend because I prefer to love everyone equally if that makes sense. But if i had to think of a definition of a best friend it would be someone who puts themselves before others. Furthermore, your best friend should look forward for your success; it should be to the point where you can call them your brother or sister. I could say through out the school years my relationship has changed with some of my friends. Most of the time i wouldn't remove myself on purpose but it would naturally happen. when I did remove myself on purpose, it was because they've affected me whether mentally and spiritually. If they call themselves your friend they shouldn't try to change you, they should't try to bring you down, they shouldn't be their friend just because of their status. I wouldn't change my definition of a best friend because that's what i always been told. My parents always taught me to put myself before others because the world does no revolve around me. I pray someone will take this to heart and think of others before yourself.
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ReplyDeleteBeing someone who has repeatedly moved from house to house, switched from school to school, and even conveyed from state to state, I have a lot of experience when it comes to interacting with new people. I have come across a lot of various personalities, characteristics, and overall attitudes. Very rarely, I come across someone who I can consider a “good friend”. I define a good friend as someone who is reliable and trustworthy. Keeping someone who can’t be trusted in your life is not healthy, one should be able to speak freely to a friend and not have to be cautious due to the fear that this “friend” could potentially repeat what is being said.A good friend must be reliable, because everyone has their bad days, some more severe than others. During these bad days, it is useful to have someone there to help, even if they’re only helping by being there to hear you vent. I can go on and on about more characteristics that a good friend should have, but I believe these two traits are what considers a friend a good one. I believe that it is possible to have more than one best friend, but I think that it is rare. One can always call multiple people their best friends, but I believe that there will always be one person that they share a deeper connection with. At the moment, I do have a best friend, her name is Madeline Richards and she is a sophomore. If someone told me two years ago that I would become super close with this ball of sunshine, I would one hundred percent deny it. Coming from two completely different childhoods, Maddie and I get along perfectly. Within the year we’ve been friends, we have never fought or argued (even after spending a whole week together on vacation as roommates). Being brought out of a bad situation, I never would’ve imagined being as happy as I am today. Maddie, being the most joyful person I have literally ever met, helped bring out the light that I had once stored away. She’s so supportive and is beyond reliable. Even after opening up to her and telling her my story, she has never once judged me for any of it. I deeply hope that she stays in my life. Due to moving so much, I have had a lot of best friends, but unfortunately the distance and changes has always drove us apart.You may think if we were truly best friends than nothing would be able to cause us to lose touch, but it happens.
ReplyDeleteThroughout my whole life, I've been involved in multiple different friend groups, some of them being good experiences and some of them not. However, I know what a good friend is because of the friends I have now. A good friend is someone who you can always count on to have your back and stand up for you. A good friend should be your best hype man, but should also be able to give you constructive criticism . But, most importantly, a good friend should support you in whatever you do. I am so thankful to have a few best friends who do all of these things and more. My best friends are Sadie, Paige, Skyler and Emma. Sadie, Paige, Skyler and I all became friends freshman year and I'm so grateful that we found each other. Emma and I, on the other hand, have been pretty inseparable since middle school. Of course, we have had our highs and lows, but we have always been there for each other and that will never change. My friends have gotten me through some of the roughest times of my life and I know that I can always trust them. I truly believe that we are going to be best friends for life. It's definitely possible to change best friends though, but I can't picture my life without the friends I have now.
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ReplyDeleteErick Toca. He has been my best friend since second grade, and that has never changed. Many have attempted, but never has anyone replaced what is, in my eyes, a perfect friend. “Erick Toca” is the definition of a perfect friend. How have I come to this conclusion you may ask? Well by the real Erick Toca of course. Erick is someone who has been the jelly to my peanut butter since 2nd grade. We met on a random date in 2nd grade. I was sitting on the bus, all alone, when he approached me and took the seat next to me. I don't remember what sparked this conversation, but we spent that whole bus ride conversing about WWE. By conversing, I mean me completely geeking out to someone who has never watched one episode of Monday Night Raw. That night, Erick went home and did his homework on everything wrestling. Since that day we have been best friends. Erick has been with me through it all, through all the horrible years of bullying, through all the breakups, through anything that has crossed my path. This one time I remember very vividly, we had just gotten off of the bus, after school, and we headed to a little field to play Jackpot. We got there, and the usual jokes that the neighborhood bullies would say were exchanged with rocks and stones. Even my OWN BROTHER, in an attempt to not get hit, threw rocks at me too. There was one person who not only didn’t throw rocks, but tried to get the others to stop, and that was Erick. Erick was there for me, he stood up to them, even though he risked being hit himself. Erick has a heart of gold and has demonstrated that greatly over the years. When I was home, and lonely, Erick stood home from school, came over my house, and we binged Netflix all day. Another time, right after a breakup, Erick called me up and we walked to Walmart and bought a videogame, which we played together to help me distract myself. Erick is there for me whenever I need him, or even when I don’t need him. I could go on and on with example after example of how much this man means to me, but I think you get the gist of it. He is supporting, loyal, caring, and a million more adjectives. I honestly feel bad for all of the people reading this right now because you will never have the perfect best friend because he is mine. Welp blog, this wraps up another one for the week. Can you believe that I finished with an HOUR of time left, new record!! I had to delete my other post because it wasn’t the longest one. I think we should be good now. Thank you for reading, and see ya next week. Sal, out.
ReplyDeleteI have had my fair share of friends throughout the course of my life. The definition of a good friend has changed for me after losing friends, making new friends, and just maturing with my friends that have been around for a while. A good friend doesn't have to talk to you everyday. A good friend checks up on you, and is always looking out for your best interest. But they shouldn't make decisions for you, they should simply guide you into the right lane. In certain situations, you may make the executive decision to do what you think is best for you. A good friend will support you if that decision is right or wrong. My best friend is Jack Walker. Jack and I have been best friends for almost 6 years now, and I can't imagine life without him. We've grown up together, and no matter the challenges life has faced us with, we've stuck together. We have been through so much, and it has only made our friendship stronger. A lot of people say you probably won't stay close with your high school friends, and even if that's true, I can say that I have learned a lot from the people I was close with.
ReplyDeleteBeing a “Good friend”, is someone who honestly in their heart wants the best for you. All of my friends now, I wanna see them succeed in this world, just as I want myself too. That’s the thing though, my “best” friends, not just one Best Friend, are like family to me, and that’s what I think a good friend is. Someone who you can get so close with they’re like family. Now my best friends, some I’ve had for a lifetime, and others have held that role for only a year, but they all are the same to me. I feel as if I know every single one of them since I was in the womb. Out of everyone though my first best friend is, Oakcrest Falcons Qb2, Joel Thompson. The friendship started before we were even born, our moms have been best friends since they were in Junior High, so it was only inevitable for us to be, right? There’s a 2 year age gap between Joel and I, but you really couldn’t tell. He acts as if he’s my age. Joel has always been one of my best friends, no matter who was the crew surrounding me, and I think that’s because of our parents being so close. Me and Joel have been so close for so long we just tell people we’re blood, and in the eyes of god we are. Both his Mom and Dad are my Godparents, so technically we’re God brothers. Not just Joel though, all of my Best friends, Reec, Frankie, Callisto, and Cameron are all family. They’re the type of friends since freshman year I’ve stuck with, cause though we all have our flaws every single one of us wants to better each other, and that’s what “good friends” are. This quote I think matches my definition, and it’s form Dom Torito in the Fast and Furious series being portrayed by Vin Diesel, and he says,” I don’t have friends, I have family”. Honestly, that quote is true to my life, because I love my friends more than I love most of my “family”.
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