"All of us are products of our Childhood"--MJ

Sunday night.

This night has sort of a paradoxical connotation tied to it for me.
It goes back to my not-so-awesome childhood.

Let me explain.
I was, like many of you, a child of divorce.
 I lived with my mother, saw my father on weekends (when he remembered he had a daughter waiting for him to pick her up) and dealt with all of the guilt, sadness, and overall wistfulness of being the kid caught between parents that hated each other.
It was, as I mentioned, not really awesome.
 And Sundays were the worst because that was the day that my father would drop me back off at home, and I knew it could be the last time I ever saw him. I would make my way into the house where my mother would be waiting, and if I looked even the least bit sad, she would launch into attack mode:
“Oh what’s the matter—had so much fun with your dad that coming home to your boring old mother is too depressing? Well sorry I have to work two jobs to support us since that fun-loving s.o.b. doesn’t bother to pay child support….” 
And on it would go until her energy was spent and I was completely demoralized. My saving grace was, ironically, the fact that my father didn’t see me every weekend, so the times when I was forgotten actually saved part of my soul.  There's a metaphor there, somewhere, I'm sure, lol.

So, this childhood memory, glum though it may be, completely shaped the person I am today. For better or worse.
What did I learn? Well, for one, I learned that being yourself and feeling what you feel has consequences.
It seems like a crazy lesson, right? But it is one that I draw on to this day. I spent so much time trying to hide who I was and how I felt as a kid, that I eventually lost sight of who that actually was. When I was little, the price seemed way too high, what with listening to my mother rant and rave and tell me how ungrateful I was, so I really felt that masking my true emotions was worth it. And into my teen years, I sort of just grew accustomed to doing that. It wasn’t until I was living on my own that the impact of that mindset became clear to me: Nobody knew me. Oh sure, people knew who I was-my name was out there. But nobody actually KNEW me. And it was really scary, and really lonely.

I wish I could say that once I had this epiphany, my life magically transformed and I became a mature, well-adjusted, productive member of society. But, since I would never lie to you guys, I can’t say that because that’s not what happened. It took time. A lot of time, with a lot of very painful repercussions resulting from my journey of enlightenment. But, now, here I am. A bit worse for the wear, but soul utterly intact and identity firmly entrenched in each decision I make. Was it worth it? Yes.  About this, I am unequivocal.

So, now it’s your turn.  Of course...it need not be as "dark" because things that are light are often even more valuable.  Just give this one some thought.

What childhood memory thus far has shaped who you are? Do you want this memory to be the blueprint for which you design your “true Self?”
If the answer is no, think about how you can change your perspective on it. What can you learn?
 If the answer is yes, talk about how you can impact the world and those in it who are most important to you.
What lesson would you want to impart that has its root in this memory?
I know this is hard; take your time. Nothing worth having is ever easy. And this answer is worth having.
Trust me.

Deep Isolation Thoughts

• I miss you all so much, and I think hearing your answers to some of these questions would be really fun for all of us!  Be sure to answer the WHYs where you see them.  So, let's gooo

• What would peanut butter be called if it wasn’t called peanut butter?  Why?

• If you became invisible for 10 minutes RIGHT NOW, what (school appropriate!) things would you do?  Why?

• What is a saying or expression that you probably say too much? 

• What actor/actress would you want to play you if they ever made a movie about your life?  Why?

• Do you put your cereal in the bowl before the milk or the milk in before the cereal?

• You discover a beautiful island where you decide to build a new society. What is the first rule you put in place?  Why?

Into the Unknown

Man oh man--if ever there was a time for a blog, huh?  SHEEEEEESSHHHH.

So, ok--let's start with the elephant in the room.  This pandemic and the resulting mass hysteria and TP shortage has to be affecting you in ways I could not imagine.  I try to make light of it, but I know it's scary.  So, for now, we will start there.
During this "unprecedented time" of "navigating uncharted waters" (so many people have said this today), what are you doing to:

1. stay sane

2. keep on top of your school work

3. not plot the "accidental" murder of everyone living with you

4. not be scared/annoyed/fascinated by all the hype

What is the worst thing, for you, about this whole situation?  And because for every yin there is a yang--what are the positives you can foresee that may come from all of this? 

Let's try to make this our first check-in assignment, ok?  Try to have this answered by tonight. 

I love you guys, a lot.  Everything will be ok.

I Think; Therefore, I Am

There is an old proverb that says, basically, if you cannot ask you cannot live.

Well, no, that's not it exactly-- it sounds deeper and more profound than that but I can't think of the precise wording.

In preparation for your This I Believe presentation, which is a *Bunje English assignment, very cool, and usually fun to write, please carefully consider the questions below, and do your best to reflect and answer them as honestly as possible.

 1. What am I grateful for?

2. Am I honest?

3. What do I need to change about myself?

 4. Do I know what my talents are and do I utilize those talents?

 5. When I help someone, do I think, "what's in it for me?"

Again, answer honestly--no one will judge you, especially me. In fact, I will answer them too.  I will even go first!

* Bunje English is how I refer to our class once the AP Exam in in our rearview

What's In a Name? Quite a lot, actually.

I was thinking about names the other day, because it is something I tend to think about every so often.
 I went to school with twin girls named Misty and Summer.
Their last name? Weathers. True Story.
 Names are fun.

Shakespeare, through the voice of Juliet, asked us to consider: "What's in a name?"
Well, what is?

Were any of you named for other people, specifically, family members?

Does being named after a beloved relative heap unfair pressure on you to be a certain way--act a certain way--love certain things--just because the person you're named after did?

What about those of you who were named for favorite actors or actresses, literary characters or anything that your parents thought was cool at the time?

Do you love your name? Does it suit you? Would you change it if you could? To what?

Do you ever think you might be a different person or even look like someone different if you were named something else?

I got to thinking about that when I heard a mother call out to her son in Target the other day. "Dylannnnnn--come over hereeeeee" was kind of how it went. 

I couldn't see who Dylan was, whether he was a teen or a toddler, but I had a definite PICTURE in my head about what he SHOULD look like according to his name. 

Do you know what I mean?  When you read about characters in books or stories do you ascribe certain characteristics to them based on their names?  

For example, my name is Cassandra, which comes from Greek Tragedy, Agamemmnon by Aeschylus, but my mother and father didn't know that.
So, I have no idea really, where they got it from, but I often wonder if I would be a completely different person if my name was something simple like Lisa or Diane or something like that.
Do you know the origin of your name? 
How did you come to be a Emily or a Madison or a James or an Olivia, Amaziah  or a Sal?


When other people shorten your name does it make you angry? What about when people mispronounce it?

There are a lot of questions here--make sure you hit all of them.  I italicized the questions to make them easier to see.