So, this year, this whole 2019 thing? Yeah, it has NOT been kind.
To any of us.
At all.
And, when things don't go well, when we're sad, when we think the universe is conspiring to ruin our good times, we tend to do a few things.
We mope, or we complain, or we point fingers.
It's rare that when life hands you lemons, you give thought to the best lemonade recipe you know, even though that's what we try to do, and it might even be what we say we do.
It just does not always work out like that because it's hard to see our way out of things when we are stuck IN the thing...ya know?
What I want to be able to do, ideally, is look at a situation as an OPPORTUNITY.
Even those situations that are working my nerves--I wish I was able to be THANKFUL that I have a situation that can really test my problem-solving skills. What if I had NO situations? Worse--what if I had no skills???
I should consider myself lucky that my life is interesting enough to even HAVE situations, and the logical processes necessary to deal with them. Wouldn't that be awesome? If I could look at it that way?
Imagine how my perspectives would shift about everything. Nothing would be awful because everything would be a lesson in which I had a chance to learn something.
Arghhh. If it only it were that easy, right? I know!
So, bottom line, I wish I was thankful for ALL opportunity, not just the ones that may provide immediate, tangible benefits. If I were thankful for ALL opportunity, it is likely that my life would be better
So...your turn.
What do you WISH you could be thankful for? How would your life better if you were thankful for it? How come you're not? Can you see any way to change your own mind about it?
Monday, November 18, 2019
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
Holding Out for a Hero
ME: Hello! Hi! What's up? So, for the purposes of this week's blog, I'm going to ask you to jump into the Way Back machine--and review the old concept of the Hero's Journey! Good times, amirite?
Y'all: (group chat text) and then,
....
ME: ....
Y'all:
....
This is how it goes in my head, lololol. So, anyway...
The Hero's Journey is ubiquitous (look it up)--I don't know why we stop teaching it in 9th grade. Everything is a journey story, tbh. But more importantly, all LIFE is, in some way, our own private hero's tale.
Many of you already know the circular concept of the hero's journey, or maybe you have no idea, but here is a quick refresher either way:
There is "the call," which is, ostensibly, the beginning of the journey, this is what starts you on your path in the first place;
there is the "threshold"--literally, crossing over from the known into the unknown, maybe it's moving into a new house, or going from high school to college;
the "challenges or trials," a.k.a. life's little but yet HUGE problems, or dragons to be slain, if life were a book
"the abyss"--when you think the whole world is against you and nothing will ever be right again.
Once you get past all of that you move on to "the transformation," or in other words, the "What have you learned, Dorothy?" moment--that moment you realize what you learned has changed you in some really significant way,
"the atonement"--how have you made peace with what you've learned or become or how have you accepted your new identity,
and finally, "the return" (with a gift), where you come back to the only place you've ever known a changed person with a host of knowledge/skills or wealth to aid in all future endeavors.
Think of any movie or song or book you LOVE--and when you really analyze it, you start to see that all of literature revolves around some schematic of this journey, and if you think about it, all of your lives do too. Especially at this stage of your high school careers.
Some of you have lived lives and seen things you never should have, never wanted to or never thought you would, for better or worse. All of you have been through problems and overcome obstacles and persevered.
My question this week is--how?
How did you do it?
What type of mental, spiritual, physical, or intestinal fortitude (look it up) did you need to have in order to emerge victorious from your journey?
What was the journey?
Did you embark upon it willingly or were you pushed?
What did you learn?
Did it change you? For the better? Or worse?
Did you have help, or "guardians" as they say in Journey jargon?
Tell me about it.
(400-450 words MINIMUM--this is for those of you that seem to have paragraphia anorexia--which is, btw, not a real thing)
Y'all: (group chat text) and then,
....
ME: ....
Y'all:
....
This is how it goes in my head, lololol. So, anyway...
The Hero's Journey is ubiquitous (look it up)--I don't know why we stop teaching it in 9th grade. Everything is a journey story, tbh. But more importantly, all LIFE is, in some way, our own private hero's tale.
Many of you already know the circular concept of the hero's journey, or maybe you have no idea, but here is a quick refresher either way:
There is "the call," which is, ostensibly, the beginning of the journey, this is what starts you on your path in the first place;
there is the "threshold"--literally, crossing over from the known into the unknown, maybe it's moving into a new house, or going from high school to college;
the "challenges or trials," a.k.a. life's little but yet HUGE problems, or dragons to be slain, if life were a book
"the abyss"--when you think the whole world is against you and nothing will ever be right again.
Once you get past all of that you move on to "the transformation," or in other words, the "What have you learned, Dorothy?" moment--that moment you realize what you learned has changed you in some really significant way,
"the atonement"--how have you made peace with what you've learned or become or how have you accepted your new identity,
and finally, "the return" (with a gift), where you come back to the only place you've ever known a changed person with a host of knowledge/skills or wealth to aid in all future endeavors.
Think of any movie or song or book you LOVE--and when you really analyze it, you start to see that all of literature revolves around some schematic of this journey, and if you think about it, all of your lives do too. Especially at this stage of your high school careers.
Some of you have lived lives and seen things you never should have, never wanted to or never thought you would, for better or worse. All of you have been through problems and overcome obstacles and persevered.
My question this week is--how?
How did you do it?
What type of mental, spiritual, physical, or intestinal fortitude (look it up) did you need to have in order to emerge victorious from your journey?
What was the journey?
Did you embark upon it willingly or were you pushed?
What did you learn?
Did it change you? For the better? Or worse?
Did you have help, or "guardians" as they say in Journey jargon?
Tell me about it.
(400-450 words MINIMUM--this is for those of you that seem to have paragraphia anorexia--which is, btw, not a real thing)
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
The 7-Point Creed
I keep meaning to explain this to you in a very conversational way, but somehow there never seems to be enough time to be able to really just "talk" to you.
This schedule really--what do you guys say? BMS? Is that right? Well, if that's right then that is what this schedule does.
Anyway, my dude John Wooden (I mentioned him a couple of blogs ago) used to tell his UCLA players that being successful on the court meant nothing without being successful as a human.
No surprise there, and certainly not an original idea but Wooden didn't just preach it--he made his players LIVE it.
They all had to come up with their own blueprint of success that was modeled around a few tenets which they could apply to all aspect of their lives. (a tenet is a principle or a belief)
He called this list of tenets a 7-point Creed.
This was the name of a list his own father, Joshua, had given to him when he was about to go into middle school. It read as follows:
This schedule really--what do you guys say? BMS? Is that right? Well, if that's right then that is what this schedule does.
Anyway, my dude John Wooden (I mentioned him a couple of blogs ago) used to tell his UCLA players that being successful on the court meant nothing without being successful as a human.
No surprise there, and certainly not an original idea but Wooden didn't just preach it--he made his players LIVE it.
They all had to come up with their own blueprint of success that was modeled around a few tenets which they could apply to all aspect of their lives. (a tenet is a principle or a belief)
He called this list of tenets a 7-point Creed.
This was the name of a list his own father, Joshua, had given to him when he was about to go into middle school. It read as follows:
* Be true to yourself.
* Make each day your masterpiece.
* Help others.
* Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.
* Make friendship a fine art.
* Build a shelter against a rainy day.
* Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.
If you don't know who John Wooden is, look him up--his story is quite remarkable. When I was a coach, I deeply admired him and the things he was able to have his team accomplish.
Just as a human being, he is amazing in every sense of the word and one of the few people I can honestly say I aspire to emulate.
As you know, I don't say that about very many people. He is also the renowned author of a blog title I used 2 weeks ago. Wat can I say?--I reallllly like the guy.
Just as a human being, he is amazing in every sense of the word and one of the few people I can honestly say I aspire to emulate.
As you know, I don't say that about very many people. He is also the renowned author of a blog title I used 2 weeks ago. Wat can I say?--I reallllly like the guy.
In any case, your task for this week is to come up with your own 7-Point Creed and share it here.
Along with the list of statements that encapsulate your belief, you should also provide some sort of description or explanation about how this belief inspires you, keeps you grounded, motivates you, etc.
I know that this is not something you can do in two days. And this is why I am extending the deadline until Friday (Nov 1) night. You will really need to put a lot of thought into this.
Ask yourself these questions to help you along:
Along with the list of statements that encapsulate your belief, you should also provide some sort of description or explanation about how this belief inspires you, keeps you grounded, motivates you, etc.
I know that this is not something you can do in two days. And this is why I am extending the deadline until Friday (Nov 1) night. You will really need to put a lot of thought into this.
Ask yourself these questions to help you along:
What do I value?
What are my morals?
How do I want to be perceived by others?
What do I want my legacy to be?
What have I learned in my life?
What else do I want to learn?
Now, I certainly don't want you to answer those questions and consider that to be your creed. Remember, a creed is a sort of guideline for living, but it is also completely subjective. Look at Wooden's creed again. The statements there are kind of ambiguous and can be open to interpretation, don't you think? So, when you are doing this, try to keep that in mind. However, it is precisely BECAUSE the statements are ambiguous that you will have to explain what you mean by them, what they mean to you and why you chose them. Always the why.
What you are basically doing is creating a blueprint all your own, by which you can live your life. YOUR life. Nobody else's.
After all, who is more important than you?
Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Sailing the Ship of Friend(s)...(Get it??!! teee heeeeee)
Often, when I'm feeling alone, I like to keep moving. Specifically, I like to go for walks.
Wait, hold on. I missed a step.
So, first I drive to a place I've either
1) never been
OR
2) always go.
It's the drive before the walk that allows me to let go of the day and absorb the night.
These walks of mine always happen at night. I feel like that's an important detail. Don't ask me why.
So this is the state of affairs that brought me to Center City Philly the first Friday night in October.
As I roamed Old City, a place I once lived, I found myself replaying some of the interactions with various people I'd had up to that point in the day. When my mind settled on one of the day's conversations--I don't remember which--I distinctly recall feeling a rising tide of frustration.
And while I'm sketchy on the details of the conversation which sparked these thoughts, I know precisely what frustrated me that evening, because it's something that consistently frustrates me to no end: the realization that most people seem to have no handle on what it means to be "a good friend." Not that I feel that I have a monopoly on the definition. It's just that I feel that people throw the term "best friend" around like it's a hacky sack, with little to no thought about how their use of the term speaks volumes about what they value in terms of human interaction.
So, you guessed it. I'd like you to weigh in on the subject. What does it mean to be "a good friend"?
Who's your best friend? Has that changed?
Do you often change "best friends" or is it a pretty steady position in your world?
Be specific, cite examples and do your best to arrive at a definition. But DON'T consult a dictionary. If you absolutely can't resist the temptation to chew on someone else's thoughts on the subject, I'd like you to google quotations on friendship and tell me if you come across one that sums up your views on the topic--or one that doesn't if playing devil's advocate is your thing.
Share the quote with us and connect it with your response. Don't rush your thinking. Let it grab hold of you and see where it goes.
Wait, hold on. I missed a step.
So, first I drive to a place I've either
1) never been
OR
2) always go.
It's the drive before the walk that allows me to let go of the day and absorb the night.
These walks of mine always happen at night. I feel like that's an important detail. Don't ask me why.
So this is the state of affairs that brought me to Center City Philly the first Friday night in October.
As I roamed Old City, a place I once lived, I found myself replaying some of the interactions with various people I'd had up to that point in the day. When my mind settled on one of the day's conversations--I don't remember which--I distinctly recall feeling a rising tide of frustration.
And while I'm sketchy on the details of the conversation which sparked these thoughts, I know precisely what frustrated me that evening, because it's something that consistently frustrates me to no end: the realization that most people seem to have no handle on what it means to be "a good friend." Not that I feel that I have a monopoly on the definition. It's just that I feel that people throw the term "best friend" around like it's a hacky sack, with little to no thought about how their use of the term speaks volumes about what they value in terms of human interaction.
So, you guessed it. I'd like you to weigh in on the subject. What does it mean to be "a good friend"?
Who's your best friend? Has that changed?
Do you often change "best friends" or is it a pretty steady position in your world?
Be specific, cite examples and do your best to arrive at a definition. But DON'T consult a dictionary. If you absolutely can't resist the temptation to chew on someone else's thoughts on the subject, I'd like you to google quotations on friendship and tell me if you come across one that sums up your views on the topic--or one that doesn't if playing devil's advocate is your thing.
Share the quote with us and connect it with your response. Don't rush your thinking. Let it grab hold of you and see where it goes.
Friday, October 4, 2019
"Don't let what you CAN'T do stop you from doing what you CAN do."--JW
The above quote is from one of my favorite coaches of all time, former UCLA basketball coach, ''The Wizard of Westwood" John Wooden. I will talk a lot about him throughout the year because he's kind of a hero of mine, even though I claim not to have any. Heroes, that is.
This quote, one of his more well known ones, got me thinking about the state of the world we live in, and how one day soon, it will be up to all of you to fix it. No pressure. :(
But, if you even glance at the TV when the news is on, you know I speak truth.
We're in bad shape, and I am seriously doubting the world's so-called political leaders have a clue how to go about reversing the damage.
But, that's what I think is so great about kids. Your potential is limitless, your perspectives are fresh, and your souls aren't yet weary (I truly hope). All that simply means--if the world is going to change, it will be because you guys changed it.
Let's start with what you think is wrong.
Maybe you think it's racism,
maybe you think it's people's propensity for violence,
maybe you think it's ignorance,
maybe you think it's sexism,
or poverty,
or the fact that we've had the same 2-party political system for the past 200 years.
Talk a little about what you think is truly wrong with the world. Think macro or microcosm (society at large (macro), or Oakcrest society (micro)), and really tear into what needs to be changed and what, we, the adults in the room, did wrong.
How could you, would you, should you, do it better or simply differently?
What you're doing is more than a blog posts, pumpkins. It's more than an assignment, more than a Genesis entry--this is your world and eventually your lives. Both of those things matter. Show me how much.
<3
This quote, one of his more well known ones, got me thinking about the state of the world we live in, and how one day soon, it will be up to all of you to fix it. No pressure. :(
But, if you even glance at the TV when the news is on, you know I speak truth.
We're in bad shape, and I am seriously doubting the world's so-called political leaders have a clue how to go about reversing the damage.
But, that's what I think is so great about kids. Your potential is limitless, your perspectives are fresh, and your souls aren't yet weary (I truly hope). All that simply means--if the world is going to change, it will be because you guys changed it.
Let's start with what you think is wrong.
Maybe you think it's racism,
maybe you think it's people's propensity for violence,
maybe you think it's ignorance,
maybe you think it's sexism,
or poverty,
or the fact that we've had the same 2-party political system for the past 200 years.
Talk a little about what you think is truly wrong with the world. Think macro or microcosm (society at large (macro), or Oakcrest society (micro)), and really tear into what needs to be changed and what, we, the adults in the room, did wrong.
How could you, would you, should you, do it better or simply differently?
What you're doing is more than a blog posts, pumpkins. It's more than an assignment, more than a Genesis entry--this is your world and eventually your lives. Both of those things matter. Show me how much.
<3
Monday, September 30, 2019
Defining the Indefinable: Love
Most of us have been there at one point; the ones who haven't will get theirs, eventually. IT IS INESCAPABLE....
There you are, innocently sitting there, eating your Cheerios or some other tasty snack, when it hits you. That flash of lightning that zips through your brain, jump starts your heart to the point of acrobatics, and sends the corners of your mouth into that half-circle of upward idiocy because that stupid grin won't stop spreading.
An image of the love of your life burns itself into your brain like a cheap plasma TV screen. Yup--it's love, and its got you in its grips.
Muu ahhhhhahhhh.
If none of this sounds familiar to you--don't worry--you simply have no soul. ;) Just kidding--like I said, you'll get yours and it'll be just as described with different metaphors.
Not ever being privvy to this feeling does not preclude you from this blog question, though; no doubt, you've seen what looks like and that's as much as you need for this assignment.
First, define love. Nbd. Thousands upon thousands of poets, essayists, philosophers and the like have all tried to come up with a working definition--whose to say their version is better than yours? Do your best.
Have you ever been in love, or known someone who has?
Did their behavior change? Did yours?
Why do you think we are attracted to those we are?
What do you look for in potential relationships?
What is your idea of a "perfect" relationship?
Who taught you about love?
What is your earliest memory of "seeing" love?
Does that memory affect how you view the idea of love?
And, finally, what will you teach your future sons and daughters about the idea of love and relationships? Think about this one, and imagine what you wish you knew...
There you are, innocently sitting there, eating your Cheerios or some other tasty snack, when it hits you. That flash of lightning that zips through your brain, jump starts your heart to the point of acrobatics, and sends the corners of your mouth into that half-circle of upward idiocy because that stupid grin won't stop spreading.
An image of the love of your life burns itself into your brain like a cheap plasma TV screen. Yup--it's love, and its got you in its grips.
Muu ahhhhhahhhh.
If none of this sounds familiar to you--don't worry--you simply have no soul. ;) Just kidding--like I said, you'll get yours and it'll be just as described with different metaphors.
Not ever being privvy to this feeling does not preclude you from this blog question, though; no doubt, you've seen what looks like and that's as much as you need for this assignment.
First, define love. Nbd. Thousands upon thousands of poets, essayists, philosophers and the like have all tried to come up with a working definition--whose to say their version is better than yours? Do your best.
Have you ever been in love, or known someone who has?
Did their behavior change? Did yours?
Why do you think we are attracted to those we are?
What do you look for in potential relationships?
What is your idea of a "perfect" relationship?
Who taught you about love?
What is your earliest memory of "seeing" love?
Does that memory affect how you view the idea of love?
And, finally, what will you teach your future sons and daughters about the idea of love and relationships? Think about this one, and imagine what you wish you knew...
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
The Value in our Valuables
Every once in a while,a situation presents itself to you, and in so doing, however unwittingly, that situation tests your resolve, challenges your moral fiber and forces you to examine (or re-examine) your values. These are the "pivotal moments" in our lives when our choices begin to define who we are.
When things like these happen, one of two things may be the result:
you will try to ignore the situation until it absolutely HAS to command your attention,
or
you will rush to a decision so that you don't have to think about it for too long.
I have a theory about why these two possible reactions are so prevalent. And here it is:
There are simply not enough moments in a teenager's day to give the appropriate attention to the notion (idea) of what he or she values.
Not to mention the word itself, values, is such an abstract term that who really has to time to ponder its meaning AND the implications AND live the life of a carefree kid? Nobody.
So, as a result of my theory, this blog question was born. Because sometimes we actually have to MAKE the time to do stuff like this, not because of a grade (although certainly that too), but because these are golden opportunities to ask ourselves who we really are.
I would like you to really let the questions I am presenting here have some time to marinate so that you can reach a deeper level of understanding.
What DO you value?
Please don't say things such as "friends, family, or iPhone 12thousand in pink peppermint sage."
Those things are just that--things (yes, even the people).
While they have surface value, they are not what I am talking about. Why? Because, in order to get to the deeper understanding of yourself and your actual values, you have to ask yourself WHY you consider those things valuable.
We already know the selfish answer to what makes the people in our lives valuable--we need them. That's why I don't want you to list people.
Because, now, you have to ask yourself a two-part, very fundamental question:
1)What makes you so mad you could scream? What fills you with unabashed joy?
and
2)Why do you have those reactions to what you listed?
The sum total of those answers is the amorphous notion of your values.
These are hard questions, and like all hard questions, the answers may take a while to come and you may have to write it as you're thinking about it. Please do so, because I would be willing to bet that all of us could benefit from your thought process as well as your answers.
Buena Suerte.
When things like these happen, one of two things may be the result:
you will try to ignore the situation until it absolutely HAS to command your attention,
or
you will rush to a decision so that you don't have to think about it for too long.
I have a theory about why these two possible reactions are so prevalent. And here it is:
There are simply not enough moments in a teenager's day to give the appropriate attention to the notion (idea) of what he or she values.
Not to mention the word itself, values, is such an abstract term that who really has to time to ponder its meaning AND the implications AND live the life of a carefree kid? Nobody.
So, as a result of my theory, this blog question was born. Because sometimes we actually have to MAKE the time to do stuff like this, not because of a grade (although certainly that too), but because these are golden opportunities to ask ourselves who we really are.
I would like you to really let the questions I am presenting here have some time to marinate so that you can reach a deeper level of understanding.
What DO you value?
Please don't say things such as "friends, family, or iPhone 12thousand in pink peppermint sage."
Those things are just that--things (yes, even the people).
While they have surface value, they are not what I am talking about. Why? Because, in order to get to the deeper understanding of yourself and your actual values, you have to ask yourself WHY you consider those things valuable.
We already know the selfish answer to what makes the people in our lives valuable--we need them. That's why I don't want you to list people.
Because, now, you have to ask yourself a two-part, very fundamental question:
1)What makes you so mad you could scream? What fills you with unabashed joy?
and
2)Why do you have those reactions to what you listed?
The sum total of those answers is the amorphous notion of your values.
These are hard questions, and like all hard questions, the answers may take a while to come and you may have to write it as you're thinking about it. Please do so, because I would be willing to bet that all of us could benefit from your thought process as well as your answers.
Buena Suerte.
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