Every once in a while,a situation presents itself to you, and in so doing, however unwittingly, that situation tests your resolve, challenges your moral fiber and forces you to examine (or re-examine) your values. These are the "pivotal moments" in our lives when our choices begin to define who we are.
When things like these happen, one of two things may be the result:
you will try to ignore the situation until it absolutely HAS to command your attention,
or
you will rush to a decision so that you don't have to think about it for too long.
I have a theory about why these two possible reactions are so prevalent. And here it is:
There are simply not enough moments in a teenager's day to give the appropriate attention to the notion (idea) of what he or she values.
Not to mention the word itself, values, is such an abstract term that who really has to time to ponder its meaning AND the implications AND live the life of a carefree kid? Nobody.
So, as a result of my theory, this blog question was born. Because sometimes we actually have to MAKE the time to do stuff like this, not because of a grade (although certainly that too), but because these are golden opportunities to ask ourselves who we really are.
I would like you to really let the questions I am presenting here have some time to marinate so that you can reach a deeper level of understanding.
What DO you value?
Please don't say things such as "friends, family, or iPhone 12thousand in pink peppermint sage."
Those things are just that--things (yes, even the people).
While they have surface value, they are not what I am talking about. Why? Because, in order to get to the deeper understanding of yourself and your actual values, you have to ask yourself WHY you consider those things valuable.
We already know the selfish answer to what makes the people in our lives valuable--we need them. That's why I don't want you to list people.
Because, now, you have to ask yourself a two-part, very fundamental question:
1)What makes you so mad you could scream? What fills you with unabashed joy?
and
2)Why do you have those reactions to what you listed?
The sum total of those answers is the amorphous notion of your values.
These are hard questions, and like all hard questions, the answers may take a while to come and you may have to write it as you're thinking about it. Please do so, because I would be willing to bet that all of us could benefit from your thought process as well as your answers.
Buena Suerte.
Something that can make me so mad I could scream is when people don’t know how to walk in the hall way. When students walk slow with so many other people behind them trying to get to class, other students don’t understand that when you see an opening between people you run through to get in-front of them. Also when they stop in the middle of the hall way to talk or hug their friends. I understand you might not see your friends through out the day but there are 50 other students behind you trying to get to class. Something that fills me with unabashed joy is when people actually talk to the special needs students. A lot of people just pass them while they are trying to say hi and be nice. Talking to those kids can make their day. My reaction to people walking slow in the halls makes me mad because I get worried I won’t make it to class on time and if I tell my teachers it was because I got stuck behind people, they won’t care and still mark me late. I get happy when people talk to the special needs kids because they love the attention of people saying hello to them and they probably don’t get it much so it’s nice to see when they do get it.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me very mad I can't function is when my close friends don't tell me the truth when I ask them a very specific question. If they just don't tell me something I'm ok with that because sometimes you don't want people to know. But when I ask someone a super specific question and they still lie to me it makes me really upset. Something that fills me with pure happiness is playing volleyball. There is something special to getting good kills, passes, and serves and just knowing you played the best you can. I can't stop smiling when I play well and I even dance around the court sometimes when we have a time out or something. I get mad when people lie to me because it makes me feel like they don't trust me and to me that means that they don't really want to be close friends with me. It just hurts to know that one of your closest friends did not want you to know something. I get really excited playing volleyball because it puts me in a state of calm I don't get doing anything else. I don't worry about my homework or if the kid I like likes me back because all I care about is volleyball.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me mad is being called a different color just because people say "I act like one". I don't know whether to call it racist or if its some kind of stereotype. This has been following me since freshman year and its sad because of my personality that's the first thing that pops up in peoples head "Why do i act white". The last i checked color doesn't define personality. Something that fills me up with unabashed joy is helping other people. I don't know if its a trait of mine I got from my parents but it warms my heart helping other people in need. I have a reaction towards other people saying " Why i act white" because it really makes me think what makes you think that? Is it the way i dress? Is it how i speak (people have said its my vocabulary)? Lastly, does it have anything to do with my care for education? If these are the cases well it shouldn't be because that i believe is racist in its own way. But i do have a great reaction with helping people because again it warms my heart to see their smile and again I do believe this trait was probably inherited from my parents mostly my mother.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me so angry that I could scream is when my friends leave me out of things. I don't mean like they hang out without me outside of school. I mean like I am sitting right there and they completely ignore me. I understand I can be annoying at times(everyone can be, lets admit it), but it really makes me mad when they do that. For all I know, I may do the same thing, but I try my hardest not to. One thing that fills me with joy is baking. When I am home and have nothing to do, I almost always end up baking something. It's always so exciting to try out a new recipe and see how it tastes. Just a few weeks ago, I got a spring form pan(cheesecake pan) and I couldn't wait to make a cheesecake. I spent a long time trying to figure out what flavor I should make. Not only does baking make me happy, but it makes others happy too. There is nothing like giving a homemade cookie to someone who has had a rough day. Even though it doesn't fix anything, it brings that person a moment of joy/goodness. The reason why it makes me so angry when my friends leave me out is because it makes me feel like they aren't really my friends. It makes me feel like they are just using me for something and whenever they don't need whatever that is, I might as well just not be there. On the other hand, baking brings me pure joy because I just have so much fun trying new recipes. I also enjoy giving whatever I make to my friends.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me absolutely furious is when someone lies to me even when it's about the stupidest situation. Even if it's about something small, I'll still get mad because I have a tendency to overthink things, and it causes me to start thinking everything they've ever said to me was a lie as well. Also, I hate when people tell others they want to kill themselves. I don't care if it was a joke or not. Some might disagree or judge me because of my extreme hate for this, but it's only because of the situations I've experienced. On the other hand, something that makes me so unbelievably happy is the "Toy Run" I do for charity. Seeing kids feel like they're on top of the world fills me with unabashed joy. And meeting the elders in the retirement homes and putting smiles on their faces is the best feeling, because in some cases, you're the only person who could be making them smile, or even seeing them. And if you give me a long, tight hug, I love you.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me so mad I could scream is when I'm talking to someone and they're not paying attention or ignoring me. Even if it's not me, I will still get a little mad if I see someone talking and the person they're talking to not listening. For me, I feel as though if someone is speaking directly at you or even to a crowd of people, that you should acknowledge them. You don't know how important the thing they're talking about could be or how much it means to them and not paying attention could make them feel like what they're saying doesn't matter. If I'm talking and someone is just point blank period not paying attention, It will bother me. I understand people could be thinking about other stuff or be going through something, but a little, "hey sorry, what were you saying" or even a "my bad, what did you say" would be nice. I have these reactions because sometimes I just want to be heard and to not feel like what I'm or what anyone is saying doesn't matter. Something that fills me with joy is honestly all the little things. I value the little things so much, the things you don't really think twice about but can mean so much. Like a random hug, a random "you look pretty today". Or getting under a fuzzy blanket, being told your loved by the one you love, watching my favorite movie, listening to my favorite songs, putting up christmas decorations, when people volunteer to help sick kids, and even just as simple as coming home to my dogs and cats. These things making me feel so joyous because they are meaningful.
ReplyDeleteLife is short, so I do my best to relish in its fine moments. My joy comes from accomplishments. Getting work done, or cleaning my room. Keeping things in order, because I value normality and a safe, clean space to think. Getting it dirty causes stress. I don’t like being stressed and I'm aggravated by most people, but only because they never seem to grasp what I'm trying to say. It's sometimes hard to keep it together when faced with the things I dislike most, to keep up the facade of careless boredom and act like I really could care less about what they spew, but I was taught well, and playing plastic is what I do best. I value friendship and grades and as much as I hate to admit, what others think. It's a flaw that was instilled in me by society from a young age, the need to be what others see me as. It aggravates me that it even has to be thought of by anyone who doesn’t work because, in the end, your boss is the only one who can truly punish you in the name of dislike. People need to have a mind of their own, realize that they aren't cogs in a massive machine I suppose in the big picture, I dislike the wrongdoings of society and the people who accept them. But I also dislike it when I get caught in the rain without an umbrella. But what is life if without moments that make you want to scream? It's those moments that make what you value that much sweeter, what makes life's bad moments seem small.
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ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me so mad that I could scream is when small situations get completely blown out of proportion. Sometimes, it seems like people just love the drama and want to start an argument on purpose. Personally, I don't really like confrontation and have never been one for arguing, so it bothers me when a person wants to pick a fight just for fun. On the other hand, something that fills me with unbashed joy is being in the musicals at school. Yeah, it seems lame to a lot of people, but we work so hard on our dances, songs and scenes, and the best feeling is when it all pays off on opening night. There's no better feeling than taking your bow on stage while the audience cheers for you. The best part about it all though, is sharing the stage with some of my best friends. I get angry when people want to argue with me because it's honestly just a waste of time and I believe that life is too short to be worrying about stupid little arguments. I love the musicals because while at rehearsal, or during a performance, I can escape whatever is going on in my life at that time and I get to play a character in a whole different world.
ReplyDeleteIn life, multiple situations and occurrences make me so mad that I could scream, but (most of the time) I keep myself contained, for the sake of my well-being, as well as the people around me. Minor affairs fill me with inadequate rage, such as someone walking slow in the hallway, someone chewing with their mouth open, my sister taking my clothes, my friends not listening to what I have to say, etc. I briskly brush these things past me because, obviously, they do not matter. They may seem like they do in the moment, but they won’t affect me in the long run. I also encounter conditions that fill me with rational fury, such as cancer taking the life of my grandma, the burning of the Amazon, pollution, climate change, etc. Besides just undergoing irritation and exasperation, I also sustain great feelings of contentment, whether it’s something compact, such as getting a good grade on a test, seeing/petting a dog, watching the setting sun, or something extensive, such as hearing that pandas are no longer endangered, learning that someone’s cancer free, a baby of a loved one was born, etc. Even though everything I just listed makes me feel enraged or cheerful, I don’t always react the way you’d expect. I like to keep everything inside, for once again, the sake of my well-being, as well as the people around me. I’d rather just let all of my feelings out to someone who’s extremely close to me, whether it’s my mom, twin sister, or boyfriend. I choose to react that way because that’s just how I am; I’m quiet and everyone expects me to be that way, except the people that I’m close to. When I talk to them about whatever makes me angry or happy, I respond the way I do because of the values that complete me as a person; this also applies to how I react to certain situations. Some of those values would be passion, determination, honesty, respect, etc.
ReplyDeleteSomething that just really gets my blood boiling is when people only tell you half of the truth. Like, if you're going to at least tell me part of it, why can't you just finish out the rest? This happens actually a lot and I feel like it's because people sometimes only tell you what they think you want to hear, which also bothers me. It might not seem like such a big deal to others, but to me but telling the whole truth, is considering lying. But, on the positive side, what makes my heart happy is, when people just have common manners. Like, when you're at Wawa and someone holds the door for you, or when someone sneezes and you say bless you. I feel like "manners" aren't used as much anymore and it's kinda upsetting. So, when I see people having them, it actually makes me in a better mood. I feel like I get mad at people not telling the full truth because I"m usually an understanding person, and when I know someone's not telling me something, I get a little suspicious and won't trust them as much anymore. On the other hand, I feel like I get excited when people use manners because my parents taught me them, and I feel like it's just the respectful thing to do.
ReplyDeleteIn my life many things irritate me, however, I tend not to show off my anger. When I get angry I tend to do irrational things this could involve slamming on my desk, saying curse words within my household, or yelling at someone I cared for unjustly. I deal with many different kinds of situations. One could be that a specific person comes up to me and my group of friends saying that you don't deserve any rights because your different or someone would come up to me and say you will never find happiness in life. So I sit there taking this, and in the back of head I'm thinking; I'm going to punch the living hell out of you. But after years and years of racism and prejudice I just began to ignore it and began look for the positive parts of life. Looking for the things that make me happy. One of them is seeing the people I care about happy. Whether if it's my friends or family just seeing them smiling it makes life worth living in. This could also mean making a good grade on an exam or winning in sport. After listing what makes me angry and happy I tend not to react the way I want to. When I get angry I have to bottle it inside myself because I have a short temper. So when I get angry I'll sometimes lose control which would result into me doing something I would regret in the future.
ReplyDeleteThere are many, and I mean many things that grind my gears and makes me furious, one of those things, is when people are late to things ALL the time. Now, I understand once or twice being late to something, I understand because I’m not perfect I’m late to things too. It’s the repetitiveness of being late that makes me wanna scream. If there’s an important event I invited you too, things I asked you too help with, etc. , and you show up late I take that as a sign of disrespectl. Now, if you have an excuse like, you’re coming from work, an activity it’s different, because there going out of there way to help you, so if there late it’s alright. When your late for no reason, it’s showing everything’s on your time, and you don’t care about mine, which shows real selfishness. Why I hate these things so much is two reasons, first I think it’s embarrassing to be late like that, because people are gonna react how I do. Secondly, because that’s how my parents raised me, that being late is unacceptable, and that it’s disrespectful and rude. With all bad things come good ones though, and some things that fill me with joy is when a parent/adult comes too me and complements me for my behavior, respectfulness, and even better when they tell me their child, brother, Grandchild, etc. look up to me. That makes me realize that I’m doing something right, when I have little fans looking up to me and people older then me apprising me for things I do. I help Coach when I can, with the youth wrestling program out of Mays Landing, and helping them kids grow to be a better wrestler, and just look at me like at my coaches, tells myself I’m doing something right. That’s what fills me with anger and joy that is based off things people around me do.
ReplyDeleteI heavily dislike it when something that is BS happens to me other people. These kinds of situations are often caused by people being unnecessary, ignorant, having a bad attitude, or confused. I am filled with unbashed joy when I play/watch sports.I get an adrenaline rush from being a part of a physical activity and the hype for our team to win pushes me to my limits (same goes for watching my team playing on TV). I react so negatively to BS because normally I am a chill/low stress person, so put me in a drama-filled situation and I get extremely annoyed. I react to sports so positively because to me sport culture is super interesting and really fun to be a part of.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me very angry is when people lie to me. I hate being lied to because I don't see the point in it. Some people say it is to save someones feelings, or to keep you happy but in the end does it really help if it isn't the truth? The truth hurts sometimes but I would rather be hurt form the truth than have to question someones honesty all the time. I get super angry when I am lied to because I try to tell the truth all the time even if it gets me in trouble. It makes me feel very guilty if I lie so when someone can lie about the stupidest thing it makes me wonder what kind of person they are and what else are they lying about? On the other hand something that makes me very happy is coaching lakers cheer. I coach the JV team with my best friend and it always is the best time of the year. I make connections with the girls and help them perform a routine they can be proud of themselves for completing. They all are so silly and make me laugh constantly.. except for when they're bad, but thats not too often. When they all pull their routines together I feel so proud for them and of them. After a stressful practice at Oakcrest cheer I get to coach them and get my mind off of any stress from that day. They make me so happy, just being able to watch them grow as a cheerleader and learn new things brightens my day.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many possible things that I could write about that aggravate me to the point where I could scream, I literally could go on and on. However, the most irritating thing someone can do is not listen. It’s annoying when someone purposely doesn’t listen and it’s extremely disrespectful. I believe that most people don’t listen to show off in front of others, for example like when a student purposely disobeys instructions for attention. I also despise people that don’t listen on a deeper perspective, like for example when someone isn’t giving their full attention when I am trying to converse with them. It frustrates me when I am talking to someone and I could tell that they’re not fully listening or understanding me. I assume that I feel this way, because of the particular way I was raised. I was always taught that it’s respectful when you give someone your undivided attention. On the other hand, something that makes my heart feel warm is when someone listens to me and remembers the little things.Knowing that when I am talking to someone and that they are actually listening and understanding everything I say makes me feel important. It is crucial, especially in this generation, to have someone to talk to and actually have that person understand where you are coming from. This fills me with joy because I feel respected when I know I am heard.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that makes me infuriated is when people are negative about everything. I am the type of person who always tries to see the good in every situation. So, when people are negative about everything it frustrates me because I know that they are bringing other people down along with themselves. Yes, there are situations where it's extremely hard to stay positive, but when you let any minor inconvenience ruin their mood it bothers me. Many things bring me joy, but #1 on my list would have to be my puppy, Colby. After years of begging for a dog, I finally got one for my 16th birthday. Yes, he is a pain at times, but he brings so much light and laughter into my life.
ReplyDeleteValues are a very tricky subject, and very from person to person. Depending where you grew up, who you grew up around, how others treat you, all factors into how your values are shaped. That being said, something I truly value is putting other people before myself. Everyone in my family has a heart of gold, so it's not far-fetched to assume I adopted that behavior from them. That isn't entirely true, but being submerged in a loving environment definitely helped. That has always been one of my greatest qualities, and something I am very proud to maintain. If you ask anyone, they'll probably tell you that I always have a smile on my face, or I'm always excited and energetic. This is for good reason, it is important to stay happy; and keep a positive mindset! It's so easy to let little things ruin your day, or ruin your mood, but it is important to stay positive through it all. That being said, there isn't a ton of things that make me angry. Honestly, I couldn't think of something that makes e angry enough to the point of screaming. I am not filled with hatred, and I am not emotionless, so that must mean I'm filled with joy! Yes, and no. Not all the time, everyone has good days and bad days, but I like to surround myself around things that fill me with joy. Everything from my friends, to my family, to my activities. Everybody acts the way they do for a reason. whether they're acting in a bad mood because that's the way they deal with emotions, if someone is acting quiet or shy, they might be uncomfortable, or unfamiliar to their surroundings; but I chose to "Put on a Happy Face" as Dick Van Dyke would say, because life's too short, and being happy is better than being sad. Til next time blog, peaceeeeeeeeeee.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me so mad I could scream is me. I know that sounds kind of random, but I keep everything to myself, at least with BIG emotions like feeling mad or sad. I bottle up my emotions and eventually I will overthink EVERYTHING and randomly just breakdown out of nowhere from the smallest thing. When I have certain emotions, I just won’t speak and shrug it off and I react like that because that was just the way I grew up because I never really had anyone to talk to that would understand what I was saying or feeling so, from then on I just kept everything to myself. However, my family have drilled this idea in my head that If I mess up even in the slightest mistake, It would mess me up completely and it would get me nowhere in life. Something that makes me super super happy is when people enjoy the little things in life and live in the moment. My favorite part of living in the moment is taking a picture because it lasts longer and also because when I look back at the picture, I could remember it like it was yesterday and think about it all day with a little smile and laugh which puts me in a good mood. I react like that because we don’t get the same opportunity twice nor can we go back to the past and I would do ANYTHING to relive some moments I took advantage of.
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