Tuesday, February 18, 2020
Introspective Reflection: How are You?
OK, ladies and gentlemen. You have done it. Well, almost.
The year is 3/4 over-and even more than that for AP folks because your year ends sooner than everyone else's.
So, now is the time for some introspective reflection.
And, while this is not my original blog idea (the words for the other idea I have aren't arranging themselves in my brain so I need more time with them), it is equally if not more important.
As you answer the questions, I want you to keep you in mind: how you learn, what shuts down your learning, and what you can do or I can that will improve upon, and remedy those things. You should do this in a quite place where you can really reflect on your process.
--Right now, at this moment, how are you?
--What do you know now that you didn't know on September 3? (You can approach this from a variety of angles--and you should--just make sure you also include the specifics of what you learned in 304)
--What kinds of things still give you fits because you can't seem to grasp the concept? (Same thing here--I am always interested in your life beyond academics, but I want you to include academics in your scope because it may impact things you don't even realize)
--What would you like to focus on moving forward?
--What would you like to see more of? (might be the same as the last question--might not)
--Do you feel like your getting the most out of the class?
--Are you living up to your own expectations? (in every aspect--where are you falling short? improving?)
--What can you do better, differently?
--And, most importantly--are you learning? (in all ways)
Take your time, think about your answers and tell me how you feel. I will use your responses as a means to plan out the rest of our year. If there are other things you would like to say, tell me, vent about (respectfully) etc feel free. If you feel you cannot do this in a public forum, you know what to do.
PS--this is still a blog--it's not a worksheet--give it some real thought. Your answers to these questions reveal much of your individual psychology.
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At this moment I am not good. I am going through a lot right now honestly. I just feel so mentally drained all the time. I don’t want to go to school because my mind doesn’t want to function, I don’t want to talk to people because I don’t think I can hold a stable conversation, and I certainly don’t want to go to volleyball because I can not stand to be in the same vicinity as certain people because they make me lose more brain cells than I have already have lost. The biggest problem is that I cannot express my feelings like a normal human being. I hide away all of my feelings so I don’t hurt other people’s feelings and I don’t like when people get mad at me so I don’t say anything. It causes some problems. What I know now is a bunch of random knowledge such as an integral is the area under the curve of a function, displacement is different than distance, and most importantly the derivative of position is velocity and the derivative of velocity is acceleration. I learned how to struggle in school and how sometimes you have to work a little harder to get good grades. I learned that I want to be a chemical engineer instead of a biomedical engineering or biochemist. I learned that bad situations can create the best ones and all around I learned a lot more about myself. I cannot grasp physics. Like I’ll go into a test swearing that I understand it and then I get a 70. I just don’t understand what I’m missing. Another thing I can’t grasp is how to deal with emotions. Crying has stopped helping and I don’t like talking about my feelings so that’s a thing. I genuinely don’t like the concept of emotions very much either so dealing with them is a whole other set of problems. Further this year I need to just better myself more than others. I try to help other people and then I just hurt myself in the process. I mentioned earlier that I hold in my emotions so I don’t hurt other people but that just causes me so much more pain. I also need to focus on keeping myself sane in school. I need to get good grades so I don’t cause myself more stress by not doing well. So in turn I cause myself more stress to save myself stress. I feel like I am getting the most out of this class because I am not only learning about english but also general good skills to carry with me. I really like how lang helps me in both school and life unlike calc which is only helpful for my future career and not just normal life. I feel like I am generally living up to my expectations. I can’t say I’m happy with where I am but I also can’t say I’m upset about where I am. I have decent grades and I have good friends and a great boyfriend but I know that I could be doing a lot better mentally and in volleyball/golf than I am right now so it’s a pretty even balance between disappointment and pride in myself. I can do a lot differently. I can treat myself better, I can treat other people better, I can try to say things nicer than I usually do, I can voice my opinion so Andre actually knows how I feel instead of trying to read my mind. Academically I can study more, ask more questions, stay after for help if I need it. There is always something to be done to be a better version of yourself. It might be something small like smiling more or something big like going to therapy but there will always be something. I’ve learned a lot this year about myself and in school. This school year has created some serious growth and I can’t wait for more.
ReplyDeleteIf we are being honest, I am not really that good. In reality, I’m fine but there are just times when I feel extremely sad and/or stressed. I feel like I’m drowning in work, but then two minutes later, I feel perfectly fine. I just don’t understand myself. My brain feels fried because it has been flooded with new information throughout this school year and my mind is on the verge of bursting. I have learned kinematics, dynamics, energy, circular motion, integrals, and so much more. I’m pretty sure I have said this before, but I have a terrible memory, so I can’t even think about what else I have learned. One thing I know for sure that I have learned is that I have a burning hatred for Physics. Other than that, I have learned how to make a proper argument, how to rhetorically analyze a text, and how to express my feelings better through writing. Overall, I have learned how to read and analyze any text in various ways. With all of the things I have learned, I still get very confused with physics and calculus. Like what even is an integral? And don’t even ask me to find the centripetal acceleration of a roller coaster going around a loop. It’s not that I don’t understand it, it’s more the thought of doing the work stresses me out. I would like to find ways to balance my stress and be more organized. I would also like to focus on my math skills more so that I may be able to understand new concepts better. The last thing I would like to focus on is learning how to write better essays. I have never been the best essay writer, so I would like to find new ways I can improve my writing skills. I would like to see more help for improving writing and math skills so I can better myself overall, and others may be able to do the same. I know that I am not necessarily getting the most out of this class because I have had a lack of motivation lately, so I just get my work done to get it done, not learn from it. After going on vacation, I realized how stressed I am and how badly I wish I could go back. It just felt so nice to not have to worry about anything and just have fun. I just need to find my motivation again and really take my time when I am doing my assignments to figure out their true purpose. I also need to get more organized so it would be easier to do my work. I am still learning how to deal with my stress and emotions, how to be a better student, how I need to speak out when I am feeling sad, and how I need to stop being so lazy. Sometimes I am just sitting in class and I am overwhelmed with sadness, and I know I can’t leave class cause I don’t want to miss anything, but sometimes it is just really hard. There are so many days that I just want to stay home. This is partially because of all of the stress, but mainly because I miss my brother. I just recently realized that I forget what it is like to have him at home, in my daily life. I feel like the memories of him are slipping through my fingers and I just can’t hold on to them. Yet, at the same time, I feel like he is still here. I just feel very conflicted, but it has taught me that I need to live one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI’ve been pretty good. Time is going by so fast and everything is like a blur. Throughout the year I’ve learned quite like what soapstone/ spacecat is, ethos, logos, pathos, Tolmin v Rogerian, and the one that sticks with the most is logical fallacies. I still have a hard time understanding math because I’ve been struggling with it since last year, as I had taken both geometry and trigonometry ( which I regret now). Having to focus my attention between two maths along with other personal struggles I had going on at the time made my grades fluctuate a lot. The most extreme example was during the second trimester and getting a 91 in trig, but in the third trimester getting around a 40. This lack of understanding led to me being extremely unprepared for both AP Physics and honors Pre Calc. It was bad enough that now I’m in two lower courses because I couldn’t keep up. I’m in a better place for it though. Moving forward, I just want keep a stable life and mindset because I want to be in a constant state of peace. I also want to continue to be open to new ideas and concepts surrounding my education. I hope we all can continue to discuss things and talk about stuff that on our mind, as It keeps everyone’s stress levels low and brings us closer as a classroom. I definitely feel as I’m getting the most of the class as it has been enjoyable and engaging thus far. I want to do a better job managing my schoolwork as I slack often and it has had some negative impact on my grades as a result. I just I have to find that willpower to do these things on time. I’ve been learning new things in most ways, definitely educational wise, but mentally it has been much like a withered cog still trying to rotate. Maybe it’s because of that teenager attitude of ” oh I’m good on that” or “ I’ve seen it all”, but I’m not going to let that way of thinking prevent me from learning everything going on around me happing at the moment.
ReplyDeleteIf I am being honest with myself I am not that good. Currently I am drained both mentally and physically. I hate coming to school in the recent months because all I think is "shit this assignment is due today" or "Why is there quiz today?" I am no longer excited to participate in extracurricular activities because it just means I get home later and can't go to bed due to homework. However, without a shadow of doubt I have been accumulating quality information from my classes. For instance, AP Lang and APUSH, I have learned how to identify arguments, understand different structures of an essay, how to express emotions into my own writing, applying rhetorical techniques into my own writing, etc. Within my AP Computer Science I'm learning the mechanics, language, and principles of the entire computer. I've begun practicing coding with proper syntax and developing a new problem solving skills. In my Medical Intervention Class understanding vaccine development, cancer, different anatomic structures. The to explore the medical world to soon find my dream career. Pre-Calc learned all new concepts that just builds and builds. On the other hand now we have the pain in my ass classes these include the following: physics and french II. It's not whether I hate these classes because it's not entirely true. These classes do not have a purpose in my life just another class that just give test and quiz and add stress to my well being. Now I have set bars and goals for myself with these trimesters and saw myself as an "A" student, but in recent views my grades have not been the greatest. I have reached my lowest with five "B's" as my final grade. This is stressful because this is not who I see myself. Now, I can go on an irrational outburst screaming, "oh my teacher does teach! He's an awful teacher! It's hard for everyone!" That isn't me. I despise these students because in the end it means you wouldn't put in the hard work. I look within myself first before I attack others. I'm not perfect. I need to clearly improve my organization skills, time management, and balance between my physical activity and education. Most importantly I need my drive and motivation back into my soul. I need that desire for challenges and purpose back into my life. Overall, I have acquired so much knowledge from education. However, this year has taught more topics outside a textbook. I started to understand and feel the emotions I have spent years running from. I begun having emotional connections with others (some more than others) and begun caring for my friends. The year is not over and there is more to be improved, but we take one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteAs of right now I’m doing pretty well I would say the least. Just got practice about an hour ago and came home to write this. Districts are this week though, so kids are stressed about that. So far I’ve learned more about myself, how I react in high stress situations, as well as dealing with situations, and overall just learning more about myself. Inside the classroom though, especially 304, I’ve learned about the great SOAPStone and SPACECAT, and as sarcastic as it sounded, all jokes aside it’s helped improve my writing so much, by helping me understand almost everything we deal with in our lives, whether it's the purpose behind commercials or a Person trying to sell me a car. Overall in all of my classes I would say I understand most of the subjects being taught, but one that catches me up sometimes is AP Physics. I put AP for a reason, because in Honors Physics freshman year it was so easy, everything felt like a breeze, but now in AP Physics, certain subjects I just look at the boredom and it looks like a completely different language. I would like to focus on staying on top of things, and not letting procrastination get the best of me, with my very busy schedule, between school and sports, I usually let it do that, moving forward I would like to see less of that and more productive things, like doing my homework the day I get it, not the night before its due. I feel as if I get a lot out of class, because we don’t just write essays that we know nothing about, we go over how to write them, whether it's Rhetorical analysis, argumentative, etc. using a wrestling analogy, but you can’t expect to win a match without knowing any technique. This year my expectations I set was to stay on top of my work, especially during the season, so yea I’m falling short a lot, but bouncing back right now. I feel as if I could use my time more wisely, instead of going on my phone for the hour between practices, get the little bit of work done I possibly can, so really just time management. Though with all of these negatives I’m learning to manage my time better, not to procrastinate, and how to be a all around better student in the long run. MEANT TO TURN IN LAST NIGHT, MAC BOOK WOULD NOT LET ME!!
ReplyDeleteAs you said, this year is ¾ over. I should be happy about that, right? Well, to be completely honest, I’m stressing out more than ever, and my whole mental state has decreased ¾ of the way down. Because every day we complete of junior year, just means that we’re one day closer to our AP exam/s. And one day closer to senior year. And picking a college. And picking a major, And making a life for ourselves. And that gives me a shit ton of stress, pressure, and melancholy. Like I get that school is important for education, and we need education to have a good life, but I feel like there’s a big difference between a healthy amount of challenge in order to do better and being so stressed about school that you break down and cry; I remember reading something like that somewhere. To summarize it up, I am not doing so hot right now. My brain feels like it was ushered into a corner and beat with a baseball bat, and now there’s just a fog in its place. I have no motivation to do literally anything, and yet I still do everything; which is exhausting. I walk into school each day and say to my sister out loud, “Man, I really don’t want to be here right now.” I don’t want to be here. Monday-Friday I’m at school, Friday nights I volunteer, and on Saturday and Sunday, I work eight hour shifts. There’s no time where I can just breathe, and focus on my mental health. I used to be involved in after-school activities, but honestly I just can’t wait to go home; so I stopped staying after (except for when I do tennis, but that’s in the beginning of the year). And when I finally get home, I spend hours upon hours doing homework, especially since I’m in four AP classes and the rest honors. I knew what I was getting into when I started school on September 3rd, and I prepared (tried to at least) for what was to come. I honestly learned quite a lot since that day, good and bad. Outside of room 304, I learned that the bad times can always get better when you actually work for it. I learned that it was dumb to put high academic standards above mental health (I mean sure I learned it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to follow that path). I learned that I need to love myself before letting others decide what love is for me. There’s a lot that I’ve been learning about myself this year, so far, and that’s probably from the immense stress pushing it all out. Inside of 304, I’ve learned how to breathe. I’ve learned that it’s okay to make mistakes, and that you will ALWAYS grow from them. I learned that there can actually be good, genuine teachers that care for their students as if they were their own. I learned that even the toughest people can break down and cry like they’re four. I’ve learned that little girls can have imaginary friends named after small pasta envelopes. I’ve learned that you learn the most by actually applying writing tools in projects, rather than just robotically scribbling out essays all day. I’ve learned that the best Little Debbie snack is oatmeal creme pies (feel free to fight me on that). I’ve learned more about myself, my peers, and language than I ever have before, and I am beyond grateful for that.
ReplyDeleteI’ve also learned that it’s okay to have little fits over concepts that are hard to grasp, such as AP physics. And it’s okay to have a breakdown over a lot of overwhelming information, like in APUSH, or to not understand something right away (even when everyone expects you too), like in AP lang. It’s all okay because those little fits just prove that you care about how well you understand something, because you want to succeed. You want to succeed so badly that you cry and scream to release your frustration, which is o k a y. Moving forward from this, I want to focus on myself for once; not on how others (will) perceive me. I want to do what’s best for my mental health, because it’s been rough lately, and I’ve been struggling to manage all of that. Academically, I want to focus on studying harder to perform well on tests. In room 304, I want to focus on trying to get out of my corner and being more open. I struggle to talk out loud, and there’s a lot of that in this room- which is good in bringing me out of my shell, even though I get immense amounts of anxiety. In this class specifically, I do feel like I’m getting the most out of it. I love the hands-on aspect on learning how to write, and how to actually make it good- “AP” good. Writing essays nonstop (like in the other AP lang) does nothing, but burn out once creative students. By the time the AP exam rolls around, they’re not even going to want to write. In this class, we’re going to be yearning to write, and use all of the tools that we were taught; we’re going to want to show the world what we can do. This year, I honestly don’t think that I’ve been living up to my expectations. I wish that I was happier, and actually did more with my life. Everything just feels so forced; getting good grades, having a decent social life, etc. For myself, I know that I can do a lot better mentally. I just can’t get out of that state of beating myself up and overthinking, which is mental abuse on myself… every. day. But at the same time, I am continuing to learn more and more about myself, and about who I want to be. Who I want to be around. Who I want to grow with. I’m learning more about myself in this class than I ever have before. Writing these blogs has honestly opened my eyes to who I am, and what I want to say, especially since I don’t actually say anything verbally. Academically, I’m learning to write better, even though we’re not actually dealing with the stress that essays carry. I’m already dealing with enough stress, and this class brings that bar down a level.
DeleteAt the moment, I’m kind of in my bag. I don’t know what to do, so I kind of just don’t do anything. I sit idle while people drag me around and put me where they want me. I feel like I have no motivation for school work. Sometimes I’m just like, “what am I doing?” But I keep on doing it. Laying down to be the doormat. Stepped on and left out. Put second to the carpet inside that doesn’t get the muddy shoes. I feel like I’ve learned a lot about my moral character this year. I used to judge people really quickly. I would think they were stupid if they didn’t know something I knew, or I would call them a bad person based on one thing I heard. Now though, I take time to stop and think before I form an opinion, and I think that definitely has to do with my other class in 304, AoP. I’ve learned a lot about other people, why a person might be making the choices that they are, and that a lot of people are intelligent in ways that I’m not, and vice versa. There’s still a lot I still don’t know though, I’m not sure if I’ll ever figure out how not to procrastinate, because the only things I work on before midnight are my poems. It frustrates me, but I don’t know what to do about it, and simultaneously I’m happy during the time I make in my schedule by shoving my responsibilities into a corner. I think I want to work on fixing it, but it’s just a habit that I’m deeply indebted to. I know I’m smarter than what my grades would tell you, even if they are good. I just fucking hate homework, the concept is just silly to me, but whatever. I know I need to improve upon it. I want to see more of my best self. He’s been on a half week long hiatus so far, I hope he comes back and stays a little longer this time. I expect myself to be doing better than I’m currently doing, especially in school. At the same time I love most of the relationships I have and I feel like I’m writing the best poetry of my life. I am very rarely truly upset or disappointed with myself, the world will put me down enough, I don’t need to help it. I feel like I get more out of both of Bunje’s classes than any of my other classes. Maybe that’s just because I wanna be a big writer guy, and those are english based classes, but I feel like I learn more about people and humanity in those classes as well. And at the end of the day, what’s more important than that? I think I do get the most I could out of those classes. Thanks to her I feel like I’m always learning both academically, and socially. When I’m not learning from teachers, I’m learning from my own mistakes. Which I make quite often, so I am always learning something new.
ReplyDeleteRight now, I am doing great. September was only 5 months ago, but in those 5 months I have learned so much. I have learned how to write a rhetorical analysis which I had no clue how to do when I came into room 304. SOAPSTONE and SPACECAT really helped with my understanding the piece of material I am reading and I have seen that I incorporate these skills into my every day when I read something. To be honest, the only thing I ever have a hard time grasping is math. It is always math. I have gotten much better at it, but is still sometimes a challenge. I also struggle with doing homework sometimes at night. If I don't get home till 7:30 - 8, I am tired, and personally, I know I need my sleep. If I don't get enough sleep, I am a zombie and just feel bleh all day. Moving forward I would like to complete a lot more homework on weekend mornings. Every day, the latest I will wake up is 6:30. I am a morning bird. Usually I will just lay in bed after walking and feeding my dogs but instead of that, I could doing my homework for the week. It leaves the rest of my day free and my weekday nights. I truly am getting the most out of this class. I have learned so much anemically and just general life stuff. Not just in the classroom, but outside the classroom I have learned so much. I have learned how to be more outgoing. I am living up to my expectations, I try not to set super high expectations, but ones that I know I can meet. So when I meet them I feel accomplished and when I surpass them I feel even more accomplished. To me, it just makes more sence then setting unrealistic expectations and feel bad about yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am very grateful, I'm glad to have convivial experience. Yes, Junior year is hard and is known for the year we constantly take a test but it was more than that. We get to see a side of ourselves we never have seen before. How do we handle the workload, stress, and time management? These are some of the key components of life. Just when I thought I knew everything I'd soon learn I didn't know anything at all. The thought of it scares me but at the same time its the only way we will grow. I thank you Ms. Bunje for teaching me that I'm more than the grades I received. Knowing that has honestly made this year a lot easier and made me appreciate this year more. But if I have to be honest, the real stress won't stop (in high school) until SAT's are over. Just the fact I worked hard all these years and I'm being judged over one test. I'm praying I do well on it because that's the thing that's holding me back. Back to AP Lang, I remember regretting taking the class and I was so close to dropping the class the first couple of weeks, Thank God I didn't because this class teaches you what we are going to deal with in the real world as adults. This class taught me it was all right to fear the real world or fear not reaching other people's standards of you ( and not to care about them). All of those things that weigh on my back you used it as fuel to reach my destination, my goal. I'm blessed that God led me to take this class; from surrounded by strangers to being surrounded by people I would call my family. To answer your question if I'm living up to my expectations? I'm living beyond my expectations. I didn't believe i was going to make it this far. I went from taking a "Special" English class in middle school to taking an AP class. It such an accomplishment and I can't wait to see what more things God has in plan for me. In the end, I learned I'm in control of how my year goes or how my days are. But all glory goes to God.
ReplyDeleteRight now, I feel okay. The past month has been extremely overwhelming. I dealt with a breakup and losing my best friend in the same day. I had to force myself to act like I didn't care, to prove to myself that I would be okay. But, I was and still am hurting. Losing someone you thought would be in your life forever, that you shared countless memories with, is shattering especially at this age. I'm trying to move past it, but with my horrible attachment issues, it's pretty difficult. I miss being "happy", being in a routine. Now, there is no routine because the people who were a big part of that routine are no longer in my life. However, I have learned a lot from this experience. I have learned to trust your intuition and to "check your gut", as we learned in the beginning of the year. I didn't listen to mine, and assumed I was just overthinking but I was right. I've learned that sometimes the best bonds are the most unexpected ones. Sometimes the people who you think you'd never be close with are the people who you'll end up caring the most about. I have expanded my writing ability in this class, I have learned how to open up about my emotions instead of keeping them bottled up through OPs, and learned how to analyze texts and even commercials with SPACECAT and SOAPSTONE. I still overthink to the max and give myself fits, but I've learned to write this stuff out which helps a lot. Moving forward, I want to care about myself more. I want to be more selfish. I feel like I put others before myself and constantly care about their well being more than my own which leaves me heartbroken and usually upset. I would like to see more celebrations of every little good thing. Because those little things are what makes things more bearable these days. I started driving school, I got a job interview, and I'm beginning to move past the situation with my ex. I feel like I have gotten the most out of this class plus more. I feel like I've learned a lot about myself, while learning a lot about writing. I am learning. A lot. I'm learning about myself, my self worth and how to handle certain situations. I'm learning the importance of language, and the way things are said. I'm learning how to be comfortable in my own skin. And I am excited to continue learning and growing.
ReplyDeleteAs of right now, sitting here on a Sunday night, writing this blog super late, I am not okay. I’m far from it. I honestly feel like I’m drowning in deep water and anytime I feel like I’m approaching the surface, I get pulled all the way back down to the dark and lonely bottom. In the beginning of the school year I was okay, life was never perfect but I was really okay, and now I am not. School is the most stressful it has ever been and being a basketball manager, not getting home until 9:30, and going out on the weekends aren’t helping. I feel behind in my school work eventhough I turn in all my work. I am physcially tired, I have never had to consume so much caffeine in order to function. I am mentally tired, I just want this school year to be over. I am overall depressed and I brush it off by saying that I’m stressed about school work. I am unhappy with myself. I know I can do better but I am so so tired. I never want to be home, all I do is sit in my room and listen to everyone be miserable. Literally, the walls are so thin so I don’t even have a way to get away from it. I live in the middle of nowhere, I have nowhere to walk to, I depend on my grandmother driving me everywhere. My father who wasn’t a good person growing up decided that he wants to make amends with my brother and I. He visited yesterday, he brought his bitch of a wife and super intelligent, adorable 5 year old son. The visit wasn’t terrible. I am currently in a relationship. It’s great. We’ve been on and off for a little over a year now and we are best friends. We are each other’s peace, we’re happy together. We recently got into a big argument that made me vulnerable enough to break down yesterday morning in a dentist chair, getting my filling fixed after it broke Friday during pre-calc. We were mature and talked it out last night and now we are good. I have never been so broken over a boy… I didn’t want to lose him so after giving him some space I swallowed my pride and called him. I feel like I can’t lose him, I feel like I won’t be able to heal myself in the environment I’m in now: being way too stressed.
ReplyDeleteI am currently learning how to get through this. I am so strong and I won’t let these stressful times break me, I refuse to lose myself again eventhough I feel like I’m hanging on a thred. This year I have learned a lot, in this class specifically, in these blogs specifically, I have learned how to write with emotion. I pour all my emotion out into these blogs, I’ve cried while writting. This is something I never did before this class, I have a story for every topic but I would never tell them. Bunje has taught me the power indivdual words carry. I learned about analyzing and the two types of argurments. After AP Lang introduced me to rhetorically analyzing, I pick up on things others don’t. For example, Valentine’s Day night a few of my friends decided to get together and watch a movie. In the movie the main character ate cereal two times. The first time, when she was happily in love, she ate fruit loops. The second time, when she was heartbroken, she ate boring, plain old cheerios. I laughed and told my friend about it as I realized that that was significant (she also has Lang, but she has Clark). In anatomy class I learned a lot about the body, this week I am going to be dysecting a fetal pig.(the mother was already dead, they were donated to a science program). In the past I dysected a cow eye and a sheep brain. This class introduced me to the medical field and I’m starting to feel a passion for it. This summer I will be doing a medical related summer program where I get to stay at a college for a few weeks. I am excited to explore that passion. I don’t think I am living up to my expectations, however I never really had any in the first place because I put myself down and never feel good enough. I expected to do good in school and to stay away from drama, so as for that I am doing good. The one thing I need to do better is focus on my health more: mentally and physically.
DeleteI play softball in the spring but I am probably going to give that up so I can fully focus on school and stop feeling behind. I didnt feel this bad before basketball season, so maybeI need more time at home to do school work. I wasn’t any good at softball, last year was my first year playing, but I did enjoy it. I just fear that being home all the time is going to be worse than stressing even more over school. I also want to start going to the gym to release anger, and focus on my eating habits. During the summer I was fifteen pounds heavier, stress is having a bad impact on my physical health. In school I am learning all the material and learning about life. Bunje contributes a lot to that, I enjoy her lectures. I am also learning about myself, I am learning what I am capable of. I always heard junior year was hard, but this is not what I expected. ¾ through the year and I am struggling. I will definitely not take as many challenging classes next year.
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ReplyDeleteAs of right now, I'm okay. There's good and bad days of course, but that's all the time. Usually during the winter times I am not as happy because of school, and the cold weather, and just everything. I just love summer and can't wait for it. School sometimes is overwhelming but It's also my fault because I need to learn how to use time. This year so far I also learned a lot more about friendships and relationships in general. I lost and gained some people in my life and I am 100% okay with that because the people that walked out taught me lessons for the future. On September 3rd, I didn't know a lot. I learned soapstone, spacecat. I learned to put more information into the essays that will help me later on in life. I learned pointless stuff like math problems, I actually learned a lot in biology which is interesting. I learned a lot about maturity and that not everyone has the same heart as you. I learned to mind my business more and try to focus more on schoolwork. I have to learn about math which makes me angry sometimes because math was never my favorite subject. I hated physics and chem too in freshman and sophomore year. English, biology, and dance are my favorites. Moving on, I would like to focus on school and what I want to do after I graduate, because I honestly don't know. I need to also mature more which will probably take some time but I'm trying. I am getting the most of this class. I learned a lot about myself and lang. I learned a lot of new vocab words and ways to express my words. I can now dig into information and figure out a solution. I'm kind of living up to my expectations. I feel like I can try more a lot in my life. I need to push my self more in school and work and etc, and then I;ll be living up to my expectations. But I am proud of myself for everything I've done so far and what I'm going to do in the future. I could clean my room everyday, make sure everyday I take the time to do my homework and get on top of my classwork. I need to stop forgiving toxic people so easily because sometimes it's just better to keep your distance from them. I am learning in so many different ways every single day. I learn whether I'm in school learning about subjects, or I'm learning new things in sports, or learning new things about the people in my life and how to become a better person.
ReplyDeleteAt this moment, my life is a whirlwind (hence why I'm writing this a week late). There are a lot of family members in the hospital right now, and I barely get to see Claudia at home because she's sleeping over at hospitals or getting home late at night when I'm already asleep. So many confusing things are happening with my relationships with other people, and school isn't making anything better. I've become so drained, and so unmotivated to do any homework. And the late night drama rehearsals and anxiety-filled choir performances don't help either. On the flip side though, I feel like something has lifted a weight off of my body and I can finally breathe. I'm honestly happy with my life, besides being in this hell hole five days a week. AP Lang is my favorite class of the whole day. Not choir, not music composition, not lunch (but it is a close second). In this class I've learned so much, and I think it has overall made me act like an adult. My writing abilities have become so much better in this class, and to be honest, I can speak a lot more fluent now. I used to trip on my words A LOT and never know what to say, or say the wrong things, and know I know better. Honestly, the two things that were most beneficial to me were SPACECAT and learning how to argue. I don't only use that acronym to help me with analyzing texts or commercials, I use it to analyze song. How the chords come together with the lyrics, and how they affect the person whom it was directed to. It helps me a lot with my songwriting and where I need to strategically put certain lyrics so the audience can relate to them. One thing that I can never seem to ace is an AP MC test. I'm one of the worst test takers, I get so anxious and second guess myself. And sometimes I even overthink the question and think the test-makers are trying to trick me. But I know that by the time of the real AP exam, I'm going to grasp the concepts better. In my overall life, I believe I'm doing so much better than I was. I'm a much happier, and more optimistic person, and some even say the don't recognize me anymore because I've changed for the better. I've learned so much this year not just about school things, but about myself too.
ReplyDeleteAs of right now I haven’t been doing so well with my online school work. I have no motivation to do any of it and it makes me upset because I know that I can do it but everytime I see the school work no lie, I cry. It makes me overwhelmed and stressed. Having my amazing parents have really helped because they give me some motivation and help me do my school work when it's too much. They know that I get the anxiety so easy from my school work, but I still try my hardest to get it done, but it takes me time. I am still working which is great because I am still keeping busy. My boss also gave me more hours which is helpful because I could use the money. Car shopping and gas isn’t cheap. Something that I have learned from September 3rd is to take time on my work. I feel like my teachers and others are considerate of giving me more time because I rather have it one right and late then on time and wrong. I am in a hurry sometimes just to get things done and out of the way, but I really do like to try and do my work to the best ability. Right now America is going crazy wih racism, LGBTQ, and so much more. It is sad to see that everyone can’t get get along and work through it together.
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